Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

We'd love a couple of beers, Jimmy.
CRONAUER: You wanna give me a ride, or am I gonna have to buy another bike?
Listen, no more games, okay?
Hey, guys.
And now direct from Crete,
Listen.
just so we can book a big-name comedian.
Come on, you're on in like two seconds.
because it's not.
This is the place where we like to hang out, sir.
Why would Cronauer's voice be on this tape?
weren't represented by Cronauer's broadcasts of rock 'n' roll.
Well, then I guess that would make you an Eydie Gorme.
You might lay an egg. I mean, a big egg.
No. No friend, Cronauer.
on the outside of the building.
That's all right. I did.
Adrian Cronauer is on temporary assignment,
- Come on, sir. - Fine.
Here your beer.
because I thought a certain segment of the men
Right now, let's play a song from Adrian's own playlist,
- Would Bob Dylan be out of line? - Way, way, way out of line.
Your fly is open.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] It's the Wicked Witch of the North.
He's a friend from my class who risked his ass to save my life.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And clouds of white ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And clouds of white ♪
CRONAUER: If I don't get to class,
[NORMAL] Can't you give us weather?
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Saying, "How do you do?" ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Saying, "How do you do?" ♪
Sir, I recommend we issue a 24-hour pass.
Cleveland? Vietnam's not that much of a change for you, then.
- I would like to leave the room now. - Oh, uh, yes, sir.
Team Lame Flex!
Oh, shit.
- Thank you, Wilkie. - Thank you.
We have a selection right here that's prepared...
With the holiday season rapidly approaching,
- Come on, come on. - You like me because of my sister.
The Army is kind of quirky that way.
- What's this thing on your helmet? SOLDIER 12: Why don't you try it out?
SOLDIERS: One, two, three, four.
How am I gonna get this girl to go out with me?
Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery.
DICKERSON: This is not over yet.
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
and get ready for the Ho Chi Minh two-step.
This is not military issue, airman. What sort of uniform is that?
- I find that very alarming. - Edward, stay with me on this.
[CRONAUER YELLS]
CRONAUER: We've got a special man in the audience today, it's Mr. Leo.
I don't like what you say or how you say it.
jjjj
As I leave Vietnam today there is no doubt, certainly, in my mind...
Eddie Kirk here, and Ray Conniff jubilee coming up in just a few moments.
That's funny.
Sukiyaki, Volare, The Portuguese Washerwoman,
He look good to me!
with as much muscles, who has absolutely no penis.
We haven't got a real baseball, Wilk. Bear with me, okay?
Hey, hey. Hey, Uncle Phil.
That's true, it's very true. That's an insult, isn't it?
I recommend you pack quietly.
- I don't find him funny at all. - Zeppo? Isn't he the one with the hat?
GARLICK: We're here, sir. Jimmy Wah's.
DICKERSON: The man should be court-martialled.
the sweetest-smelling army in the world.
And what about Jimmy Wah's?
[ENGINE GRINDS]
- Look at the new friend. - A little too young for you.
Sir, the man is a walking keg of dynamite.
Please, I'm... Bag it!
I'm with you, man. I'm on your frequency.
From now on, the fighting men of Vietnam
You look hip today. Slip me some skin.
You don't have the power. I'll take this to the authorities.
It zoomed right by, just the way they say it does.
We're not in America, sir.
I gotta get her something.
- What happened? CRONAUER: It didn't work out.
Goooooooooood morning, Vietnam.
What is a protective dike?
I wanna kiss his ring and have it go:
[BABY PLEASE DON'T GO PLAYING ON RADIO]
- Beach Boys. Those were guys. - Of the Beach Boys.
I don't want makes you nervous, Cronauer.
Hey, there we go, for you. Here we go, for you all.
Why not? Maybe play a couple of Tennessee Ernie Ford records.
Lieutenant Steven Hauk is our immediate supervisor.
You like it? I got it from Hong Kong Home of the shinny green suit!
- Does that road have a secure status? - No, sir, it does not.
Well, you know, you're very beautiful.
Requisitioned for a name change.
And now an item of special note.
GOID!
[NORMAL] I know we can't use dyke. You can't even say lesbian.
NIXON [ON RADIO]: - Whether the Vietcong will be defeated,
Good morning, communication concepts!
Let's go. Let's boogaloo till we puke.
It's called fun. What's that? Come on.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Here's a news flash:
Guys, I'd like you to meet our new deejay, Adrian Cronauer.
When the fed boys start using biological warfare
- Okay, here we go. MP: No batter. No batter.
[BABY CRYING]
GARLICK: I'd like an explanation.
There's no place like home, and you can be there.
Frankly, I found your I love a police action remark way out of line.
It's a simple rule.
There's a water buffalo jackknifed up there.
CRONAUER: Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a waggon round up.
- I gotta catch her before she accelerates. WAH: You can't go yet.
SOLDIER 4: Senator Dirksen! SOLDIER 5: Hey, Curly!
Good morning, ROZ!
I gotta tell you something, you know.
Maybe I can work in a station back home or something.