Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You are not funny.
Freddie and the Dreamers.
I've wanted girls like that, but I've had trouble as a young child.
Barring any change in the weather,
- Oh, what happened? - What happened?
Attention, shoppers. People, people, settle.
- We must to ask the people. - Hey, it's no problem.
Our jeep gets blown off the road and his van won't start.
Why can't I read this? It's what's going on here now.
How can some person look like a shit?
- When you burn your mouth. - Oh, gosh, yeah.
[SHOUTS] Anything! Just play it loud, okay?
- The lieutenant loves to abbreviate... - And if you do...
If it isn't funny, then why did I hear you laughing when you typed it?
GARLICK: How far you think we've gone?
I n the eight weeks he's been on the air, general,
- Find anything? - No, I'll have to make something up.
Heading north.
SERGEANT: Move out. Go.
Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a waggon round up.
You're pissing me off.
You're forbidden to read anything not checked.
GARLICK: I'll work on that, sir.
You look a lot like Hawaii.
It's 0600. What's the O stand for? Oh my God, it's early!
shouldn't we keep the PC on the q.t., because if it leaks to the VC,
Sugar and spice. Ha, ha.
- Right here, sergeant. - Thank you, sir.
[LAUGHS]
[YELLS] Good morning, Vietnam.
THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD\nON A RESUME
Yes, I'm sure that wasn't Walter Cronkite.
filling in for my buddy, vacationing Eddie Kirk,
I have over 15 years command experience in this Army.
Nixon, Singapore, Lake Erie. Come on.
I just wanna report the truth. It'd be a nice change of pace.
CRONAUER: - A very well-hung Chihuahua.
Gentlemen, what can I say but hi.
- At ease. - Hell, we already are.
Yeah, me too.
GARLICK: Heh-heh-heh. I like you already, sir.
Musketeers first day back at work
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, get out of here. Watch out.
[SINGING] Here she comes, Miss Southeast Asia
You're wearing your best new suit.
keep the PC on the QT
[AS LAWRENCE WELK] Thank you for that lovely tune.
Take the ball, will you? I'll give you money if you take the ball.
We're getting a lot of hate mail. Here's one from a financial advisor in Frederick. Craig kimbrel sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls. I have no idea what that means but it sounds very negative to me.
How you doing? You could fly to Guam with those.
CRONAUER: Real homey, in an opium kind of way.
- Careful, you could put an eye out. - God, it's warm, huh?
I'm informing you that you're out of here.
It's a stupid thing to do, isn't it?
Kim Waiting for Robb…
Neko Musume: Linda dawg would be to cruel~ Chikn: ( barks )
You know anything about this?
Come on, yes.
CRONAUER: I was wondering if you could do your Mister Ed, because...
I would, however, love to buy you lunch, maybe look at a family album.
Well, I had you there, babe, but then you lost me at the end.
Okay, which one of you guys is throwing his voice?
So fuck it.
It says goodbye to everybody staying behind.
It says so in the memo.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, Frenchy.
Let's go whether it's a double or a daiquiri.
He look good to me!
STUDENTS [IN UNISON]: Shit. MAN: Shit.
The Vietnam conflict?
Thank you, lieutenant.
Take you home. Safe now from VC.
Just cool your tongue, airman,
Big fucking deal.
Nowhere to Run To by Martha and the Vandellas.
- Are you crazy? - I might...
MAN: Oh, my God!
Right now, yes.
Any movement on the Walter Brennan thing?
Take some chances once in a while, Edward. That's what life's all about.
If you say that, hey, some people in a car, some gypsies, they cut you off.
[AS LYNDON JOHNSON] Linda Dog would be too cruel.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Frenchy... You know, I really shouldn't kid Frenchy,
Get somebody good, The Beach Boys. Don't dick around.
She's actually going home.
Here it is, coming for you now. Quick news flash.
[BICYCLE BELL RINGING]
- General wackiness like that. - Falling down, that's a sight gag.
She's beautiful and quick. Speed up, check her stamina.
Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather...
Even encapsulated in two seconds, my life is dull.
How's it going up there? Adrian, it's not going exactly well.
Sir, sir!
Yeah.
Talking out in the field today.
[AS WITCH] Oh, I'll get you, my pretty.
Sir, the man has got an irreverent tendency.
This, Cronauer, not a real baseball. It much smaller and harder than this one.
Edward, don't you ever do anything that's not by the book?
- On anything in particular? - A lot of people went to the mat for you.
God, is it hot.
Thank you for that constructive criticism.
You better not even come within range of anything that happens,
Tuan?
What's the difference between the Army & the Cub Scouts? The Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery.
I’m waiting to DIE!
Earl, oh, you again. No more fighting, okay?
.
It's me, your old pal Frenchy.
Whats the weather like in Hoedspruit?
HEY EARL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Anyway, he's the man that you don't want to aggravate.
I have arranged for an honourable discharge
Weather = current situatiin With continued hot and shitty in the afternoon
I also recognise your species of soldier.
Five months in Saigon, my best friend turns out to be a VC.
And you.
- Can you give me a minute? MP: Oh, okay.
Hold on a minute, sir.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Thank you. Is it true that you've actually...?
CRONAUER: All right! Thank you.
but I'd like to delve into something slightly more personal
Okay, for now, suspend him.
That should be personnel missing luggage.
We've gotten duffel bags filled with information
[SCREAMS]
He's currently wanted by the South Vietnamese police
Eddie, sometimes you got to go out of your way to get into trouble.
Gooooooood morning, Communication concepts!
Good God, help me. Work through it.
Can we please not get into this right now? You're in the middle of a show.
What's the weather like out there? It's hot, damn hot, real hot
- Airman Cronauer? - You got it.
You could put amphetamine freaks to sleep with this shit.
Wait...
Da Nang me Da Nang me
They're having a great...
No, those behinds were designed
Stevie Brass on WMSK Radio PREPARE TO POLKA, KIDDIES!
Now that I do, you won't turn the car around?
- It was a joke, sir. - Yes.
Thanks.
- How about if what escalated? - The Vietnam conflict.
Let me put it to you this way. He's got this thing for Walter Brennan.
A conviction on a charge of treason against the United States
HAUK: Sir, if it is my programming choices, I can change.
and good evening sounds too depressing.
If it's being done correctly here or abroad, it's probably not being done by the Army.
An incredible coincidence, some more songs.
or a neutralist sentiment in South Vietnam.
- Sir, you're not funny. Ask around. - Ask me.