Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What's the weather like out there? [SOLDIER] It's hot, damn hot, real hot.
So close, yet consistently so far from haiku staggers the imagination
Listen, jerk off, we're here fighting for your country.
[ALL AS HAUK] And if you do...
You phoney, like American and French before you.
I don't know what to say. We're gonna maybe drop in a little napalm
Week 11
who swore that he could get him naked photographs of the actor.
The men want him back. I want him back.
- Gentlemen. - What are you doing, Ed?
You will sick if you drink some more. Come on.
- What's going on here? - Sir, will you listen to me?
You talk, I think, very much.
Again, we've got our friend from military intelligence.
DREIWITZ [ON RADIO]: All-star rookie Pete Rose's three hits...
You have a problem with that, young man?
You got me there, Wilk, because... I'm sorry, we have no budget, you see.
CRONAUER: Either of our names Earl? - He calls everybody Earl.
Also, tea would fall into that category.
- What about bananas? - No.
She's still married after six months. Way to go, Liz, hey.
- Donum. SOLDIER 14: Jay Snyder.
I can't even make fun of Richard Nixon.
Dreiwitz, I've assigned you to cover the PC.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ Of people going by ♪
Thanks for setting me straight.
Route 1 A, sir, is the only route to An Loc, sir.
What's one-thirteenth of a dollar among friends? Come on.
Oh, no, man, listen. Let me just feed my face.
GOOOOOOD MORNING XOC
I'm waiting to die
NIXON [ON RADIO]: The United States has no right to give.
No, no, you see, you step in shit, you can be full of crap.
- Yeah, go, run, Minh! Run! - Come on, come on, give me the ball.
This is a tempest in a teacup. Much ado about nothing.
You're getting pissed off. What would you do?
Jesus, that guy's as boring as whale shit.
MAN 4: Hey, sarge, where are the women?
- All right! Yeah! Yeah! - Ladies and gentlemen!
We're bringing in thousands of troops every month.
Gooooooooooooooooooood morning taskforce!
I mean, I don't know. It's the Irish boy.
Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.
SERGEANT: Who brought in the gook?
[MIMICS ENGINE]
Edward, I tried to tell the truth and they kicked me off the air.
TUAN: You naive man, Cronauer. You take a stupid side.
NIXON [ON RADIO]: It is unexciting sometimes.
Hey, listen, I know there's no way.
- No, I don't know. - Bullshit!
I want your bags packed and ready to go tomorrow afternoon.
This is a GI bar. We don't like gooks. We don't want him here.
Sorry, sir. I haven't been to sleep.
a South Vietnamese boy with you and Garlick.
Look out, I'm singing, everybody. I'm singing.
as all duffels look alike.
I never thought I'd find women attractive again.
MAN: Groovy. - Yes.
Don't go near there. Get away from the river, stay away.
with whether you play polkas or don't play polkas.
You take care.
Goddamn it.
I want to tell you something.
I don't know what's gonna happen, man. I don't know.
Gook Gook
CRONAUER: Oh, Edward, I'm in love. Think she likes seafood?
American personnel can check out a book
You're gonna leave the fucking thing. Leave everything fucking hanging.
He likes to say PC instead of press conference.
Da Nang me, Da Nang me Why don't they get a rope and hang me?
Well, I was... It just comes up, I was just trying to be funny.
Here's the weather. We're gonna go to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt.
please be polite and to the point at all times.
That's right, Pope-on-a-Rope.
What do you say to her? What would you say?
Not wild stuff.
What do you think you're doing?
Try it.
Arf! Easy, girl, easy.
An Loc. His pass say An Loc.
- This stuff is burning the hair off my feet. - Hot?
Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather...
Hey lady I will reach Mel Street will vomit
Left, left, left, right, left.
I understand you're pretty funny as a deejay.
We're gonna play some music for you right now. Here we go.
No, and it doesn't look good, Jimmy
What are you doing here?
I go out with girls who talk so much you can hook them up to a wind turbine
Nobody's arguing that with you.
I've been all around the world, seen a lot of places and a lot of people.
Eat.
Goooood Mooorrrrniiing Les Terres de l'Ouest
Second...
Oh, you think this is a joke?
TAYLOR: Lieutenant, we get hundreds,
[YELLS] Good morning, Vietnam.
NIXON: - Territory to the Communists.
THE ROCK LIKES A BIG ROOM, SIR
Oh, she slips, she spills it on your brand-new gabardine pants
God only knows what they'd say, sir.
with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon.
My village not too far from here. You could come there for resting.
Weather for Plant City today is hot and shitty
[SLOWLY] Well, once, yes, on myself. And it had no...
Good Morning, Savage joe’s
GARLICK: We got one call from some guy in Wichita
Didn't you hear? I cannot find you unless you talk to me.
GOID!
You don't know whether you're fucked, powder-burned or snake-bit.
We are so different.
Listen, it's an actual event. Where do you think this came from?
No, I don't think that Cronauer is going to be back in the air, sir.
G2, Corporal Tiser, sir.
I'm O... O... O... O'Malley. He's good... Oh, he's good.
There's not too many high-ranking officers
CRONAUER: Thank you for that concise political commentary,
- Give it to me, Edward. - This is Eddie Garlick, com...
Things just jump out at you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new voice of Saigon,
Flip them the bird.
Listen, Sparky,
NIXON [ON TAPE]: And that this war will be won.
I have to leave the country because of my association with him.
an incredilbe thing yes, it's the new femboy pope-on-a-rope
Buenos dias tropa!
This is incredible. Oh, my God. They're quick, they're fast and small.
That's not the fucking point!
KIRK: A form of humour, sir. LEVITAN: Hackensack.
SOLDIER 9: Yeah. SOLDIER 10: Stones.
(Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪ (Inaudible dialogue) ♪ And I think to myself ♪
- Call me in five minutes. - No, we have to get up right now.
Natty Boh beer, best beer in Baltimore. Natty Boh beer, only beer in Baltimore.
CRONAUER: What are they doing? - Oh, they're Buddhists.
This is Eddie Garlick coming to you live from AFRS, Armed Forces Radio Saigon.