Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

[production assistant sighs]

I think I might be able to help you out. Let me tell you a story.

I'm not 100 percent watching

Are you serious right now? Dude, this is for charity.

"I don't think we can just resolve everything cleanly in a half-hour."

In what year did Secretariat win the Triple Crown?"

But I like it there.

Hey, look at you, all dressed up for the Dipshit Awards.

By the end of tonight,

And now our first-ever guest.

Oh, cool, I love stupid bullshit like this. Ooh.

And you treat me like a big joke.

And we're out. Oh, we're cooking now.

Big Money himself, Mr. Peanutbutter.

-I'll say D? -Ouch, the answer was A and B.

Actually, you know what? Don't worry about it. It's not for you.

Boxer versus raptor. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

That was the deal. Plug my movie, win money for charity.

You don't get it.

The way you do. And I don't know how.

[Daniel and audience] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Suck a dick, dumbshits.

Well, that's no surprise. Guy's been flopping upwards his whole career.

it's time to pick your category.

rise through the ranks at an elite news organization,

Well, have fun watching me win that pen.

You've earned the chance to go for a spin