Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- What, I'm full of shit? - You are full of shit.
These are the ground rules.
But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit.
You're not going to be needing these anymore.
Come over here.
Listen to this.
- In any league. - Got that right.
- I'm a nice guy. But I don't... - Scare 'em.
That's the secret.
I don't know what to do with these guys.
Get the broad out of your head!
“New league record!”
Try taking off your shoes and socks first.
We want you to mature the kid.
This is hopeless. This is utterly, fucking hopeless.
And I am going to the Show.
I ain't pissing nothing away. I got a Porsche already.
"The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them"
I just wanna give it my best shot.
Not getting that cheese by me, Meat.
Hope I Can Help the Ball Club
I knew it. You're trying to seduce me.
Hey, Nuke.
okay, well candlesticks always make a nice gift
every time I pitched, it was like throwing gasoline on a fire
I dare you to throw me the hammer.
I'm not gonna fight you, man. I'm not gonna fight you.
- Get your ass out there and check it out. - You bet.
But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me.
One night with some of these skaters, we can get right back on track.
Lollygaggers
People make educated guesses.
What's wrong?
Wait a minute. Where you going?
I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu,
Trust me.
See you at the yard, Meat.
'Cause I love the game, Annie. I love it.
That's great. That means you're gonna have a great year.
Yeah, you said, "Crash."
- Who's he dancing with? - All of them, I think.
Oh, my. Damn.
I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
When I see your mom...
Is that it? Fuck this fucking game!
- My hand-eye coordination? - Unsnap my stocking.
You guys, you lollygag the ball around the infield.
- My left. - Good. That's good.
Somebody else carries your bags.
I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe
Yeah, I was in the Show.
you're afraid of meeting a guy like me, 'cause it might be real
I'm sorry. He hit .376. That's a career, man.
How much time did you and Jimmy spend together
What goes around, comes around.
You’re a c*cksucker
We’re dealing with a lot of shit here
Time for another quickie.
Come on, rook. Show us that million-dollar arm
They're kids. SCARE 'em.
There's no relationship between sex and baseball.
You know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
"Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And when you speak of me, speak well.
If you give in now, you might start losing.
Listen, I am sick and fucking tired of you calling me Meat.
What's this guy know, anyway?
She must’ve called him a cocksucker
Big club's got 100 grand in him.
Annie,
- Time out! - Time out!
Stay on his case all year. He can go all the way.
I'm the player to be named later
so you sabotage it with some, what is it, bullshit
You catch the ball.
Well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far.
Man, that is not belief. That's desperation.
All right! Good way to start, baby.
Annie Savoy. Wanna dance?
I know what it is.
Only Crash Davis stands out this year.
One thousand big ones!
three, two, one.
Stepping in for the Peninsula White Sox is leadoff hitter Willie Foster.
And this is the most wretched road trip I've seen in 20 years.
There ya go
It’s a miracle
But most of all, it's out there.
- How'd we ever win eight? - It's a miracle.
Dad!
Come over and sit down.
the clown prince of baseball.
- You said, "Crash." - Oh, no.
Good Advice
How dare you tell Nuke to stay out of my bed.
Somehow I knew nothing would stop him.
When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.
Jose made three errors with his cursed mitt.
No. Just no. Please.
- Let's play some baseball! - Hurry up!
No. His professional debut tonight, and he forgets about it.
You got something to write with?
Breaking ball.
Once again, he goes to the rosin bag.
Golf lesson today . . .
Maybe a place setting or a silverware pattern's good.
"Limpid jets of love."
and the press will think you're colorful.
I told him.
Don't take this personal, Millie, but if I catch you in here again
I'm confusing him?
Who are you? I mean, do you have a job?
Where's Ebby?
I wanna announce my presence with authority.