Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

In the Times, 60% of the voters would've voted for Dobbs if they could.
and the enormously important role that they play in our failure or success -
You like our Tom Dobbs, do you?
he may have scored points.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I got the ballot from San Mateo so I thought I'd run my own election
- If that sounds familiar, it's the same Eleanor Green... - Menken!
- Yeah, maybe. - The wing is...
- Has Eleanor called the headquarters yet? - No.
As you can see, President Kellogg is winning by a small margin over Senator Mills in Rhode Island,
Just be entertaining. Look at it this way. Who would you rather have dinner with:
(laughs)
You do what you did tonight and things could get really interesting.
practicing any religion you want, anytime, anywhere.
- No. - Yes. I used to shave elephants.
It looks as if Delaware now is going to President Kellogg by a very close margin.
Also Pope Benedict has mechanized the Swiss Guard
(Eleanor screams)
And that's all the information that we have at this time. I'll take any questions now, if you got 'em. Yes?
Let it go. Nothing good can possibly come from revealing what happened.
Here's the very latest. Dobbs is running at about 17% in the 13 states where he's on the ballot.
Very easy, writes upside down, zero gravity. After two cases of vodka, still writing.
- Too fast? - No, I'm fine.
You talked too fast - couldn't understand you half the time - but you were fresh.
I think it has to do with the fact that I figured everything out.
She said she knew what the computer glitch was. Now it'll be a couple of days before we can find out.
Are you tired of having twice as many lobbyists as they've ever had before?
(cheering)
I'm even afraid of NyQuil.
but the Secret Service wants you outta here by dark.
Did you forget the first time we met her, she said she was working for the FBI?
so he ignored the memo and hoped the problem would go away.
(Tom) They're trying to discredit her. She's not psychotic, OK?
I'm tired of the Republican Party and of the Democratic Party.
(Jack) Shortly thereafter, Tom Dobbs went back to his political comedy show.
Why do you think they wanted you to run? To listen to you talk about issues? Are you kidding me?
You're so thoughtful.
Should I be impressed?
I mean, did I do the right thing or did I do the wrong thing?
Well, in LA, maybe.
- my love to them, my love to all of you who... - What?!
Do you want to destroy this company? Because that's what you may do.
No, I'm...
Thank you so much.
...close to the vest.
It's like the comic who gets to play Carnegie Hall but shows up and plays the violin.
He will.
Why is that so bad?
What? You can fix my problem?
Who? Who are they?
Mr. President, I'll just be a minute. Thank you.
we are the most powerful nation on this planet,
- Just Tom Dobbs. - Good.
OK.
(audience laughter)
It's not good for the stock offering, really.
It's about the same. We're pretty easily amused.
You can either get off the Mayflower or have four girls in a Cadillac.
- Listen, Eleanor, I'm with the President. - What?
You're in love with her. She could tell you Gandhi ate hot dogs and you'd believe her. Take a look at this.
But we can celebrate the process. The democratic process which we hold so dear will have worked.
And then...
Come on. You're kidding me.
President Johnson said he wanted to accuse his opponents of having sex with animals. OK?
Happy birthday, Mr. Menken.
Like, hello, they've got lobbyists to deal with. They've got trips the lobbyists have sent them on.
If it was unpatriotic to question the government, we'd still be English!
- You have one minute remaining on your time. - Needs a little more flare.
It seems that this has probably straightened out some of those voting problems of the past.
Yeah!
I'm not kidding. They grow these big beards. In the wild they rub it on trees.
Then I... I have an idea: don't vote for the congressmen or senators.
I hope this doesn't sound silly, but the other two candidates are family men.
We're not just talking liberal or conservative - big-time change.
Thank you. Nice tie.
We just stop listening.
Mr. Stewart would like to see you at Delacroy.
(# Political World by Bob Dylan)
- Hey, Angus, do you have any of those cookies I like? - God, can you please just let me get my cappuccino?
(Tom) I need some information. Strictly confidential, just between you and me.
...inner cities, infrastructure, environmental issues - that's what's before us.
Laid off? I thought they were making the big bucks. That's weird.
She kept saying, Double B, double G, double L. It's like a code.
(Eleanor) I wish I hadn't told him.
Anybody who's ever been married knows it's always the same sex!
(Jack) He was bigger than ever.
- I taught Tom everything he knows about comedy. - Except how to be funny.
while Tom Dobbs has recreated how Thomas Jefferson would've looked if he were crazy.
The issue revolves around representation. The people of America are not being represented.
Jack? Jack?
I emailed you. I told you I thought there was something wrong with the system.
- I was just giving him my order. It's not a big deal. - It's not a big deal.
I know that she was fired by Delacroy.
A jester doesn't rule the kingdom, he makes fun of the king.