Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

women rushing the stage, fainting, for Elvis, for the Beatles,
Oh...
It's a Tom Dobbs. Is that the Tom Dobbs, President-Elect Dobbs?
Not a cough in the carload.
- You want a beer or soda? - Soda, please.
The free world will now be led by a comedian
I'm not even President of the United States yet, and I'm involved in a scandal with a woman.
a blue and a red state,
Mm-hm.
apart from the fact that she seemed obsessed with Tom Dobbs,
Maybe it is best that you're the next President of the United States even if they didn't vote for you.
Thank you very much.
Tomorrow I will officially announce my candidacy for President of the United States.
They elected an Italian porn star to their senate.
Oh, but that's so weird. I never said anything to him.
- Well, I could hold my mother's ashes. - (laughter)
I'm out of ammo!
Does this mean I'm out of a job?
I tried to warn them. It's that error that's made you the next President of the United States.
- (audience laughter) - Wow!
If there's no candles, Richard.
- Pump a little iron, you look like a Humvee. - With little tiny balls.
that could put Dobbs over the top of the 270 needed.
to see Dobbs' costumed visit firsthand.
You wanna shake it up! You have to be eyes wide open, ready to move on!
and people of no party affiliation. I want diversity.
As Tom Dobbs' manager I was as shocked as everyone around me
if i knew i would have left leave then
But one thing could disturb this beatific vision.
- Maybe that's not so bad. - I hope.
Comedian Tom Dobbs has won New Jersey as well as Virginia,
It's an old Irish tradition.
Will your legacy be as extraordinary as theirs?
Let's move on. Alison, Jenny, your thoughts.
So... what's she gonna do?
Double B, double L, double G.
but we are very pleased to have a most honored guest with us...
It's good to see us back. The fact that we can laugh is wonderful. But the last few years we've been divided.
The two Delacroy executives were arrested and later convicted
(GPS) Turn left.
I don't know. You know, it's not the sort of thing that I'd hear about.
(phone rings)
Mm. Uh, look, I'm a little confused. Is she...
No, you have to.
Thanks.
Tell me that you are not receiving major campaign finance contributions from oil companies.
Within three hours there were four million emails endorsing Dobbs for President.
Menken.
going into the final 30 days of an election
they're doing special favors for special people and not dealing with what you need:
When I was a young boy, I used to look at pictures of naked ladies. Hence, my right hand is very strong.
because you've all heard there's a little bit of a rumor going around right now.
No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it...
They got me in because of my seriousness of purpose.
And my hair.
- I'm feeling good. Almost euphoric. - Jack. Excuse me.
Did you write that? Where's the punch line?
What a pleasant way to spend the day, huh? Killing your friends?
We're absolutely out of control.
If she's not psychotic she's a stalker, and if she's not a stalker she's a CIA operative.
who was suffering severe psychological problems. We made an effort to get her medical help,
They attack environmentalists: You're a tree-hugger.
- Boom! - I don't take kindly to you calling me a liar.
By the way, drug dealers have this place booked until dawn.
Oh, I wish I could walk.
What does my legal counsel suggest, then?
Whenever they want to distract you they use weapons of mass distraction -
We have evidence that Miss Green manipulated the prototype of our computer voting system.
NO SHOPPING
But women don't rush the stage for comedians.
with respect to family, children, wives and immediate family,
- Are you tired of the Republican Party? - (cheering)
- Oh, Danny. - What?
For those of you thinking of getting implants, there's something new to try.
All bets are off.
A lot of people, they get the large ones. Those are lovely.
We also know that the president-elect has been seen in her presence recently,
Well, I-I did work for Delacroy Voting Systems.
We are the wealthiest nation in the history of the world,
Are you with the ambulance? Eleanor Green?
or maybe it was because Tom believed his audience demanded it. Who knows?
You've got two minutes, Tom.
I've made such a mess. I've made such a mess.
This is the happiest night of my life...
Good. That's good.
If you put enough chemicals in the water, you'll be fishing, going: I love catching two-headed bass.
It's gonna be interesting.
- (pants) - (laughter)
- I heard that! - Uh-oh, who said that?
and my relationship with the voting public.
I believe her, for Christ's sake. Look what they did.
you deny other things - education, environmental issues...
I... was just double-checking.
are crossing the border with bedroom sets and night tables.
- We got some clips. Are they ready? - I TiVo all his shows.
She's impossible. I don't know who she's talking to, what she's saying.
My father was a big smoker.
- (Amy) That's a good re-write! - (Tom) Good night, good luck!
You could be Bewish - Jewish and Buddhist. You sit and you wait for things to go on sale.
- It'd be a good time to find a letter or two. - (woman) M.
It's all about accountability...
- Well... - By your pause, I understand.
It's crazy. A woman tonight said I should run for President.
We have some dirty laundry that needs to be addressed.
Boy, if she's figured out this computer glitch and goes with that to the press, we're royally screwed.
I mean... wow.
Oh, my God! My eyes are open and I can hear again!
- I tell you, they seem to like this guy Dobbs. - Oh, Danny, please.
Got a reporter says Delacroy's going to make a major announcement.
I'm sorry.
Here's our first contestant. Your name, please?