Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

She's right, Tom. As soon as the program starts and we see the candidates' wives in their red suits...

No. All I'm saying is, these numbers, these results, this is what I mentioned to you in my email.

and said, It's my choice. I do it for the Church and for the Fatherland.

12:30, no Hitler.

Swedish carmaker Volvo has announced they are replacing air bags in their new sedans

Yeah, but you're running...

Can you get control of this, please? Get control of this!

- 900. - (man) N.

- Yes, ma'am. - Hi.

If they throw their panties on stage for me, it's 'cause they want them fluffed, folded and back by Friday.

Unless somebody discloses indiscriminately, willy-nilly.

Thanks for coming. This isn't the actual show. The cameras are pointing at nothing

why would you test the computer at such limits with so few days left to fix a problem if you found one?

Where's the proof? Give me something to justify what she's saying.

Jack, I've been trying to call her but I can't reach her.

Lots of people have psychological problems, mental problems, health problems of one kind or another.

Arm in arm, hand in hand, everybody together,

Well, just between you and me, Mr. President, you didn't underestimate me at all.

You're with the President? You're in the Oval Office?

Maybe we should have dinner first before we do this.

Put the big one on the back: Enron - we take your money and run.

Well, maybe if you paid a little more attention instead of daydreaming.

It's alphabetical.

A lot of guys just like to bump their car and see what happens.

Hey, I just went through the cue cards, and you're gonna kill.

He has been formidable, as we've seen in these numbers...

I looked at the IKEA catalog and didn't see anything I liked,

are getting their political news from Leno, Letterman, Jon Stewart, Tom Dobbs and Bill Maher

(Eleanor) Are you alone? This is your cellphone?

- (Danny) Yeah, why? What's going on? - Paranoid, I guess.

Oh, wait. I got mail.

- What's up with that? - Mr. Dobbs!

I'm going home.

This makes golf look like porn.

You're that Miss Green from the television.

What was your vice president's response?

- (audience laughter) - (Faith) You have got to return to your podium.

- Talk to me, baby, talk to me. - Drive 0.4 miles, then turn left.

But late that night she found something that seemed very wrong.

not your wealthy, your gifted and your endowed.

- You wanna dance? - I don't dance.

(man on radio) An unusual turn of events in Virginia: with now 87% of the vote in,

We are now going to go live back to Election Central, where Chris Matthews is standing by. Chris?

Hold on to your hats, folks.

since I am now the first show business manager ever to handle a president.

(Jack) I am now the manager of the president-elect of the United States.

If you find the right naughty pine, you're gonna have a good night.

It's like democracy on the head of a microchip.

- Did your uncle get ahold of you? - What?

It'll be the first time I'll be in front of an audience without him.

- What do you want me to do? - I don't know.

- What do you mean, it's not computing right? - Something's wrong.

He refuses to spend money on media, saying, Candidates are not products.

The format has been agreed to by representatives of both the Republican and Democratic campaigns.

Which is wonderful. There's no sex scandal there, just great posters and incredible downloads.

I didn't mean to yell.

- That's why we're in this debate. - Serious talk puts us to sleep.

I always thought the TV Nielsen ratings were full of shit, but this?

because Eleanor's theories on the computer glitch proved to be correct.

I see a Christmas tree...

- I'm out. - Well, thank God.

The funnyman has conquered the Lone Star State.

A little intensive care package here. Red wine.

Listen, if there's an 85-year-old lady in a walker and she's a terrorist,

She was trying to explain it to me. But it didn't make sense.

I need a charger for this phone that I can plug into my cigarette lighter.

and I sat behind the President's desk and I had a reality check. It kind of overwhelmed me.

(Jack) As for President Kellogg, he won against Mills in the reelection,

12:45, no Hitler.

Bring it back, bring her back. I want constant updates.

The Delacroy jet is at the private terminal. I got her.

- It's eight hours back to Chicago. - I just wanna be alone with my Barry White tapes.

- What do you want me to do now, sir? - I'm willing to offer her big money. Big money.

Are you nervous?

I... I'm sorry.

between the major candidates for President of the United States.

OK, I'll be right there. Yeah.

Tragically, he would still be alive but he insisted on pulling his own ambulance.

- We're gonna change it, aren't we? Yeah! - Yeah!

But, I mean, for me here's the basic thing.

Only one thing remains true - you're the President.