Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Why does he want to see me? - He just wants to talk to you.
It goes back to the Johnson thing.
I'm saying let's have real security, not just the illusion of security...
- To lift your ass. - Lift the ass!
Well, there's a lot of history to this desk.
Other third thought I looked like former first lady Barbara Bush...
Mr. President? Donald Tilson, Secret Service. I'll be taking over.
Not great, but better.
"They're Responsible To The People, Not Party Loyalties -"
I believe her.
(audience applause)
Yeah, but may I reiterate?
On the West Coast the second domino toppled over.
and I wasn't exactly pleased.
- between you, me and the world media. - (laughter)
- Well, I called Hemmings at Delacroy. - What?
Shortly thereafter, Tom Dobbs was on the ballot in 13 states.
- Just a minute. - Mm-hm?
(# John the Revelator by Depeche Mode)
...and when the source is finally identified, Tom Dobbs will sleep with it.
Faith, can you... Faith, can you hear me?
(# Political World)
I worked out your bit with SNL. They really liked it.
died this week of heart complications.
We've got to preempt his press conference.
- Where are you now? - I'm in a shopping mall.
There was a problem with the computer voting system.
Up ahead, take a right. I opened the door and the car went, Are you Jewish?
The air will be full of bullshit. They'll be thanking everyone, do all those niceties.
# I'm tired of the Democratic Party Now I'm tired of the Republican Party
Well, Mark Twain once wrote, The only difference between reality and fiction
That's why I refuse to run television commercials.
Shocked as the rest of us. Guess I'll have to clear my calendar for the next four years.
- Your Treasury Department lost $28 million! - (Faith) Please, return to your podium.
You have people saying, You must teach intelligent design.
Here's some excerpts.
Hold on, I got a call. Hello.
Will they say that you're brave and brilliant? Courageous?
Unreliable results...
When have you ever known me to ever take any kind of drugs?
It's... I know. We're not on book anymore and the cue-card guy is going...
- Why did you decide to test the system? - I don't know.
m-m-maybe I've done the wrong thing, and how can that possibly be?
(Eleanor) OK.
Let's face it, the reality is a comedian was elected President of the United States.
That's terrific.
How good the politics is, we'll have to wait and see.
that said four out of five doctors recommend this brand or that brand?
I believe democracy is a collision of ideas. I'm not of the school that if you're not for us you're against us.
They'll thank their wives, children, all their campaign supporters.
So, if this vote holds true in Virginia,
...they are still confident of an election victory.
Every American believes their vote counts. Now you wanna tell them that's not true?
and for the first time included in tonight's debate, the independent, Tom Dobbs.
Maybe forthright... God.
What are you talking about? Please, please stop.
- Oh, God! Did you hear what he said? - I believe he talked about fiscal policy.
- Tom here. - Turn on the television.
It's not something you sweep under the rug, you gotta talk about it.
It'll be an adventure, and you're all part of it.
OK.
Now, right after the debate, there was a mixed reaction,
You have to do the birthday toast now.
This week Tom Dobbs' presidential transition team briefed him on day-to-day activities in the Oval Office.
And for a brief moment, I thought, you know, I could be the President of the United States.
- No, I can't. - Why not?