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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
CHEAP-ASS TOASTER, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
- YEAH. HI, SAMMIE. - HI.
NO, NOT A RAT. NO RAT. ( imitates rat )
- YEAH YEAH. - THEN YOU FEEL YOUR HEAD.
- IT'S A RAT! - Susie: WHAT?!
- I WAS JOKING IN MY TONE. - MM-HMM.
- I'M GONNA USE YOU AS MY GOOD-LUCK PIECE. - OKAY, COME ON.
- NO. - HMM. OKAY.
UH, OKAY.
- SHE'S LATE. - OKAY, COME ON.
PLEASE, IF YOU WOULD JUST HELP ME OUT A LITTLE.
Please turn off all cell phones.
NO, UH-UH.
- ARE YOU CALLING TO APOLOGIZE? - What?
'CAUSE I HAD A SCRATCH AND--
IT'S A DOG!
Fuck
BUT SOMETHING ABOUT IT THAT KIND OF TURNED ME ON. SHE'S SICK.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO START ALL OVER. - I GOTTA START ALL OVER AGAIN.
- THEY'VE TAKEN THE BAGEL INTO CONSIDERATION. - ...AND THE TOASTER.
THIS IS MIKE THE EXTERMINATOR. THAT'S MY DAD.
- ( panting ) HEY. - HEY.
I THOUGHT IT WAS, LIKE, HALF RAT OR SOMETHING.
- JUST GO. - SHE'S PROBABLY ALL-- ALL--
DO YOU KEEP SAYING, "I'D LIKE A SODA, I'D LIKE A SODA,
- YOU BE KILLING THEM BUGS, HUH? - YEAH, BUGS, RODENTS--
SEE, I FEEL I'M HOTTER THAN YOU. NOW I FEEL I HAVE A FEVER.
I'M JUST SAYING-- EXAMPLE HOW TO TURN THAT SHIT AROUND.
- HI, MIKE. - IT'S AN HONOR, SIR.
THIS IS THE SLOWEST TOASTER.
- HEY, SORRY. - ANYBODY PHONE ME?
Fuck you
- ( dog whimpers ) - ( coos )
THAT DOG SITS IN YOUR LAP WHILE YOU'RE WATCHING TV?
I DON'T FEEL WELL, HONEY.
HONEST TO GOD, I GOTTA TAKE LORETTA TO THIS JOB INTERVIEW
Larry: I'M SORRY, REALLY.
HE'S STILL TALKING. ALL RIGHT, PLEASE DON'T CALL HERE AGAIN.
- I KNOW IT IS. - LOOK AT THIS SCHMOHAWK OVER HERE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE IT LOOKS-- NO, IT'S-- IT'S A JOKE.
WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE QUESTION.
I'M GETTING ALL THESE OLD-ASS PEOPLE.
YOU TOO!
I WANTED TOAST.
WHAT? WHAT?
ME TOO, A LOT. IF THEY HAPPEN TO REDO IT,
SO YOU-- YOU FOUND IT OKAY?
YOU KEEP ORDERING CDs THAT YOU DON'T PAY FOR?
YOU-- YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE SOMEBODY ELSE OR SOMETHING.
- I WANNA TAKE YOU. - ...AND SIT IN A CROWD.