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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Sorry, friend? - He's with me.
There it is.
Yeah, you got it.
What else can I say? Let life come to you.
Doctor doctor I keep sneezing out facebook statuses Well try logging oof accounts stop updating to make charging if no results shut the facebook feed down and come again in 90 days to see me
- Well, this is Kirk. - Gerald McCleish. It's a pleasure.
- Hey. - Hey. This is Patty.
- She really likes you. - Thank you.
You are out of shape.
Come on, Jack. Come on.
And that five point disparity, that is a chasm.
What if I show you something I'm self-conscious about?
I really liked you, but all that stuff about
- You deserve a lot better, Kirk. - Thank you,
Penguins are facing off against the lslanders.
This is what... All you got is it's inconvenient for you to wear flip-flops?
Wow. They let guys like that work here?
Branson!
It's just smooth. It's a look that says, "Hey, you can put your mouth here."
Oh, yeah.
The universe spoke. And I was depressed for months.
and maybe some other old favorites from some other artists? No?
- It's a memo. - Put it back in the trash!
- Nope. Nope. - No?
OK, wait.
- He is... He just moved. - It's just a thought.
- Yeah, man. - Yeah.
- Kirky! - I didn't think you were gonna be here.
Well, you think maybe I need help
deduct a point.
- After you. - Sure you want another one, Dad?
- Give it to him! - What's up, little bro?
- Hey! - Hi...
- and I think you two should come. - I think you're wrong.
- You're like Yoda. - Yeah, I know.
- Dylan, hey! Sportsmanship. - Fuck you!
- Yeah! - No. No.
OK, so then what does that make you?
All right, everybody, listen up! TSA! I apologize. This guy's drunk as fuck.
Você entende de Balística Forense Não! Não entendo nada!
- Kirk, please. Your balls are shaved. - Oh, I know. I know.
but I just kept thinking...
The curse of being an attractive woman.
I can get you a mad discount on a flight, if you want, though.
- Tina Jordan does. - Who the hell is Tina Jordan?
- horrible girl. - Marnie?
Hey Pirate, can you spot me a 20?
Boarding passes and IDs where I...
Yeah, that's how we roll.
And now, to the gorgeous birthday girl, Katie McCleish.
- What are you? - You're not better than me.
Man, you... You guys just sit here and talk about relationships,
- Hi! - Hi!
Listen, Kirk. I understand that fellas, such as yourself,
- You're gonna what? - I'll write it down.
Oh Little Bearglove
- Wow. - Yeah. You know why?
Because your kiss
Yes, they, they, they let that guy be my boss.
- What is it with you people? - Hey, he can just wait his turn.
Tom effin Wopat, bro.
You... Thank you. You saved my life.
Ron, honey, I never complimented you on your...
No, we both screwed up. We told them that it wasn't gonna work.
I see what's goin' on. Yeah, I'll get some beers with you.
And... here she comes.
- Yeah, underwear is fine. - Ron!
Oh, cool.
Education Is
- Do you want me to take it off? - No!
But, truthfully, Marnie.
What's up, freckles?
I think that makes you one of the most macho guys alive.
You guys must be exhausted from your travels. Please, hey, have a seat.
OK, now we're gonna take it down. A lot.
I play in a band.
And that's a lot of time off.
but there's no way on the planet that Molly is into you.
I'm well, thank you. How are you?
- but I'm just being honest. - Come on, cut him some slack. Look.
The Rose Wagon won an award at a film festival in India with 9 entries. That's like saying the guy who shovels elephant shit at the circus is in show business. No, he's just the elephant shit guy.
Hey.
Gables? Jab-els?
Oh, man!
- Dylan! - Honey, what?
Oh, shit, Molly. Six o'clock.
Deduct whatever's left.
and I'll see all those planes takin' off, goin' places, and I think
hello i am the cat hello my name is horse
I reallyjust want to give all that up and get back together with you.
- Then that's a brain-teaser, isn't it? - Tell me about it.
I love you like I love... TV.
Goddamn it. Tina Jordan.
Nothing. Nothing.
Don't let it creep you out, OK?
Ubudla izingane? Ngempela? Yebo, kodwa sengiyaxolisa
No. This girl is, like, fuckin' hot!
Excellent to see you again, sir.
- 'Cause I genuinely hate you also. - Oh, cool.
We gotta fix it. Just act drunk. Thank you. TSA. Come on.
- What a pleasant surprise! - Target acquired.
- Are you dying? - What?
This girlfriend of yours is already startin' shit!
But you broke up with Molly.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course.
Two?
Katie, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
No, I don't think so.
Because your kiss is on my list
Sorry I'm late, Fuller.
We're... Oh, that is it.
Three?
- Stephen Hawking and his lady nurse. - He's the master of space and time!
- Cam... How's it going? - Mol.
- Got a foolproof moneymaker on the way. - You're gonna want to pay attention.
That’s a fair question?!?
Can I see your invitation?
- Thank you, Dylan. - No, wait for it.
What two or more grown men do in the privacy of their own home,
Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me.
Good call. Hey, pirate, can you spot me a 20?
My parents don't even know I quit the firm.
Know what? We're actually pushing back right now.
Look. If you want him, you gotta go get him.