Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

to make the man cum faster.
that shit's gonna happen to you no matter what."
he don't choke me like he used to.
-["Hold On" by En Vogue plays] -[crowd cheering loudly]
[crowd laughs]
-[laughs] -[applause]
He's a Fulbright scholar.
[clicks tongue] And then some dudes, they do the opposite, right?
to sit there every morning at the same time to summon the shit.
You can't tell any woman what to do,
Yeah, it was a-- it was this big-ass deal
"You gotta shape-shift, bro."
"Who cares? Who's gonna believe you, you young, powerless boy?"
all the interesting opportunities and deals knocking at her door,
I never check my DMs.
Young men in particular,
like how you are one of the best stand-up comedians?"
And it's a shame, you know?
I want you to really listen to me and understand this and believe me,
And I worked on it for 12 hours a day,
[crowd laughs]
[crowd laughs]
But as an Asian woman, I'm gonna live until I'm 95 years old.
"No problem. I got it."
You don't have to smile
because you need her for babysitting.
[crowd applauds, cheers]
[crowd laughs]
A Magician
to end up having to fake an orgasm.
You could see the King's Hawaiian…
-♪ If you love me -♪ Say it ♪
You have to tell all of these lies.
[crowd laughs]
and I raise my voice,
I'll be like, "Harder, come on, harder, harder!"
"Okay, Ali, um…"
Generally, our society is very unforgiving
[crowd laughs]
♪ If you trust me Do it ♪
-I want to have it all. -[crowd laughs]
with the stank of your selfish-ass shit!
"Oh, I'mma suck your dick."
"I'm not gonna wait forever!"
or onstage taping our third Netflix special. [chuckles]
[crowd laughs]
[crowd laughing]
That's not even a joke, okay?
[crowd laughing]
You know what I'm talking about.
especially if you're a mom.
[crowd laughs]
They don't even offer to take me out to dinner
It's like,
Men, you never forget to take a shit ever.
[crowd cheering, applauding]
-…every five minutes. -[crowd laughs]
It is so upsetting
[crowd laughs]
you're going to cum no matter what.
[crowd laughs]
You sit there from 8:00 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.
[crowd laughs]
-…while I chant, "Wakanda forever!" -[crowd laughing, applauding]
it'd be such a shame to go through all that trouble of cheating
[crowd laughing, applauding]
I want to fuck other people now…
It was quality.
pointing you straight to the kingdom of heaven.
I like dudes who look as close to Keanu Reeves as possible.
My mom doesn't understand,
It's a mystery to me why Hello Kitty