Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- How you doing? - Good, how are you?

- Okay, here we are. - Okay.

Oh, shit, you're right. I got to call.

Karen is such a big mother fuckin liar

- We make a good team, man. - Yeah.

Just like toned and smaller.

It's not really funny. It's not funny.

Take care of it. Move on.

He didn't even have a number to give me.

- It's a beautiful picture, Ben. - It is. It's not bad.

- You're pregnant, aren't you? - What?

Look at this one. Look at it.

Well, I think a stork, he drops it down,

It's a promise that one day I will...

I didn’t do shrooms in Vegas

I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, my God. And if you can't get service, what am I gonna do, you know?

No one stands up.

but I really think he would want to hang out with me, is like the cool thing.

oh dear raelene fancy renting a grandma? yes granny tomba!

It's not at all.

Bean counter, bean counter, bean counter, BEAN COUNTER!!!!

I don't want to shock you but we know what's under that jacket.

We're gonna be positive.

it's all National Geographic.

Someone say booty-hole?

Look, if you keep yelling at me, I'm never gonna get there.

You think that's bullshit? Haa

It's amazing how fast the milk arrives.

I know we're supposed to be nice with each other right now,

when they're doing what they're doing to you.

Do you have his cell number, by any chance?

Just relax, okay? Just be mellow, 'cause that's what this is all about.

So financially that's helpful

- Great. Who doesn't? - Yeah.

Yo, a beer over here, please?

You think that's bullshit haa

- Decels. - Oh, dear.

You are fucking Biggie, you piece of shit!

And even if we did plan,

Sorry it took so long to get a table. I didn't realize you needed a reservation.

You really don't need to be.

I went where I went, Jason.

Take care of it.

- Congratulations. - Just give me that.

Panda Express, Yoshinoya Beef Bowl.

But they should be because they love each other,

I'm gonna have to pop a fucking cap in your ass.

Because this is my first baby, and he promised that he would be here for me

I really do love you.

You don't have to be.

- How's it going? - Good, good.

People think I'm smart because I speak in a robot voice.

We've wasted 14 months of our lives.

This is healthy. This is good. I think we are bonding.

Oh. Hey, Allison.

I see what you're saying. Totally.

Hey, which one's the sister?

I totally know what you're talking about, man.

and I didn't want to upset you.

Maybe I should take my shoes off. Or my belt buckle, my belt buckle's huge.

Am I too old To be here

And then eventually, COVID hit me Like a Mac truck

- Pete'll watch the kids? - Yeah!

Look how sweaty you are. You look like Dom DeLuise.

Daddy, wake up!

Please, I very rarely look cool. This is a big moment for me. Just take it.

Let's get out of here, man. Honestly, like, let's just go.

- Have you ever met him? - No.

Imagine how much bigger he's gonna get.

Like when you see a woman driving a car, do you just get pissed?

So, Dr. Howard is at a bar mitzvah.

What in the world are they doing?

I just smoke less pot. I don't know what to do. I'm an idiot!

Oh, motherfucker.

Love? The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world?

Don't do this in front of Shark..

Oh, I think that's bad.

I'm turning the baby so I can take the pressure off the cord. Okay?

- Oh, here, take mine. - No, that's okay. I'll wait.

Well, that’s true, everyone knows that…

I don't know! Google it.

I don't wanna go see it now.

- What? - It's a shame.

- What'd you eat? - I haven't eaten today yet.

Positive, positive, positive! Up!

All right, man. I got to take off.

It's live. I got to do it. I got to be there.

Wyatt Earp, Tombstone.

She's not single. She's just not married.

- You haven't... - Do you have, like, a napkin or something?

because he thought it would be fun to have breakfast with us,

Yeah, I heard him.

They seem to love bubbles.

yes beryl butherccino? what do you want? i want faecae schripynbs.

No. What we want is to take a second to talk about our options, okay?

So, I have to get going in. They're calling me.

Mr. Skin. That's even a better name than ours!

Take good care of it.

I'm gonna get laid, motherfucker!

You just took my whole Asian squad. -Sorry Johnny

but everything will be fine. Okay?

I almost had the condom on my dick.

You may have power now, but you're not God!

I buy these nice towels, and he whacks off into them.

- Hello? - Hey, it's me.

All right, Martin, who am I?

- I don't like your shoes. - How was Burning Man this year?

I shouldn't have joked in there

- Julianne Moore special. - She loves it.

If this is one of those fucking joke shows, I'm not into it.

And you're not gonna have anything to do. You're gonna be bored.

That's the closest I'll ever come to being in a threesome, I think.

What are you doing here?

About last night

I told you all about this.

- Four centimeters. - Four centimeters what?

Wait, you can get pink eye from farting on a pillow?

You know what? I don't want you at the house anymore, okay?

- Legoland! - Legoland!

Feed the teddy bear.

you would've found out that we thought it's great.

- By the way. - Yeah, I just thought...

Am I hotter than these little bitches?

Fuck me in the beard.

We come here all the time. It's not a big deal.

Look, the real point is not to get yourself in this position.

I think he’s doing the ice thing too much It’s really all he’s got

YOU ARE A CRAZY BITCH HORMONES!

- I'm Jodi. - Yeah, hi.

- Are you sure? - I am sure.

But it works out in my advantage, I think, ultimately,

I can't tell you that you're acting like a lunatic?

- This is my friend, Ben. - I'm Ben.

I love breakfast.

Mad libs are a game for making words Two more eggs

Croissant emoji. Any one raise... raising your hands?

You're not the only one.

- It's really amazing here. - You got my tie!

Jesus, Martin got it bad!

Now that how you het Pink eye

No personal questions.

I feel way better, though. I think that's like the secret. Like you gotta...

- Okay? Ready? - Okay.

I didn't read the baby book! What's gonna happen?

Where we're going, we don't need roads.

I shouldn't have gone in there

You old as fuck

Hope your plane crashes. Peace, fucker!

and I'm just hauling ass for Canada, man.

Because you told me not to.

Honey, this is not the time.

"There's something wrong with me."

I want the... I want the epidural. Okay?

Yeah, it was really awkward.

So he got down on one knee and gave you an empty box?

- You know what I did the other day? - What?

I can't let you in 'cause you're old as fuck, for this club,

Ka-ching ka-ching

Okay, you know what? Maybe I've reacted unfavorably.

Fuck off, Martin.

You know what I'm saying? It was a flash!

He tucked his shirt in. He got down on one knee. It was so sweet.

Be quiet. You're starting to annoy me.

Its a girl, buy some pink s...

- It's just fun, man. - We're gonna have the best time ever.

All right, I'm gonna let you two get to know each other.

If I ever listen to Steely Dan,

No. I'm gonna pack it in soon, I think.

So, do you want to, like, get together and talk about it or something like that?

I would tear that ass up.

Yeah, I mean, she was acting weird,

I have a while before I have to say anything.

I don't... I don't want the baby to be born all drugged out.

and give you some medicine to speed things up.

Oh, man, that's so nice to hear.

Now, think about your stepsister.

You need to call Dr. Howard.

Did he wear a hat night Please let me know call the guards 9999999999999999999999999

You know what your bear would also like to do with some grass?

- No, I wanna see it! - It's beautiful. You don't want to, though.

He's literally ignoring this entire half of the bar.

She's carrying my bastard child. No one wants that.

She wouldn't understand it. She doesn't understand.

Just 'cause I'm sort of looking for a more personal experience.

- Hurry up. - Stupid fucker.

Keep Original Keep Original

and on the next judge judy... "paddle boards flung up and hit me in the face." "i called 911 and CPA for double duties." "ok go ahead" "but my complaint was overlooked." next judge judy.

What'd you see?