Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Thank you, Wichita. Thanks, Little Rock.

- Columbus? - Tallahassee?

Help me with the boots.

And without other people, well, you might as well be a zombie.

I've always been kind of a loner.

This is now the United States of Zombieland.

I trusted them and they trusted me.

Okay. Keep that there.

Take away a man's son...

Thank God for rednecks.

That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard...

Hey. You weren't exactly gonna score, anyway.

I'm not great at farewells, so...

Even though teaming up wasn't my style...

And there ain't no getting him back, so I'm looking for a new home.

Even though we were never really close...

It was a Sadie Hawkins, so girls' choice, you know.

I have no home.

Look at what we got here.

- That's where I'm headed, amigo. - Whatever.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Yeah? Starting now.

Look, you ever read that book She's Just Not That Into You?

Someday very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.

For fuck's sake, enough! We're being chased by ravenous freaks!

- Come on, let's go. - Yeah.

That's me realizing that those smart girls in that big black truck...

...or else you lose what's left of your mind.

You're not gonna shoot them, are you?

Wait, wait, wait.

Twelve's the new 20. Gun, please.

...so I give this relationship to about Texarkana.

...even if that means destroying a whole lot of little things.

Don't let them catch you pants down. Beware of bathrooms.

When Trump won't go to inauguration

They stole my Hummer. We have trust issues.

It was like if he got a taste of that comforting childhood treat...

Last time you went 20 toes, put Percy in the playpen?

...fucking clowns.

Uma orelha está correndo perigo De ter o cabelo colocado para trás

...but I could hit that.

No one back there but my duffel bag.

...the first ones to go were the fatties.

You should actually limber up (for shitposting) as well

Help me with my boots, cmon

- Bill Murray. - God, no way.

But your sister wants me to...