Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...a vagina when I said that.

No, alright. The problem isn't sex.

- What? - There's not even music.

Nothing's wrong with you. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. Right. Time to settle down.

Okay, so you just really go after it like that.

Let's go back to the hotel. I wanna do stuff to your body.

george i told ya not to play baseball and serve me the ball so it would smack me in the penis! boing good riddance faye you krinesse freak from michelle bridges adult carrot shrostops 78WBT yonkosnack!

Oh, thank you. Yeah. Our restaurant?

...for each other and ourselves, yes I agree.

Does this story end with you doing something super racist?

- What? - You're mad?

and talking to boring people all night.

because of low self-esteem, or abuse or other gnarly shit.

He's devastatingly handsome?

I don't know who that is.

I hope it's okay that I said that, by the way.

- He will. You may. - Good.

They literally just got back together.

- No, but are you... - You're happy.

- Well, you're a married man. - Yeah, I know. I made sure to tell her.

♪ Your heart ♪

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay, but you know what I mean, alright?

I love you for free, Lainey.

In a good way I think.

I did let someone put a protein bar up my ass once. Big deal.

♪ Fuck it baby I got you ♪

And then she says...

...Elaine, I wish I could have known you

This is my son, and he really liked dancing with you. Didn't you, buddy?

As a result I have been able to stay faithful to you

Alright, now, next move, alright, you're gonna take

- Who are you? - I'm Jake.

Remember? We're okay.

And you said it the other day too.

That's all that's going on.

♪ But I am losing ♪

♪ I would beg ♪

I'm proud of us. Nicely done.

I waited until my wedding night.

You can use my pen if you'd like.

- That's not true. - What?

[breathing heavily]

But I can't say that, because that's, like, mean on top of mean.

Goodbye, Mathew.

No shit? Wow! That's great.

You know, unfortunately I don't sleep with men

in the middle of Central Park.

Car seat? We already have a kid?

- Yeah. - Be safe. You know what I mean.

- Anybody here named Paula? - Shh.

- Thanks, man. Sorry. - Thank you.

♪ Lot of snags ♪

in 11B at Wein Dormitory?

when he was at work and said, Grab some condoms and meet me

- Awesome. - Amazing.

Look, she's my best friend and I would say

His name's Chris Smith?

It's kinda hard. I mean, look at you.

Ugh! This sucks!

- No. - Holy smokes!

Matthew! Hey! Hey!

♪ I know that sounds heavy ♪

might be a complete fucking dickhead

A tremendous amount of Malcolm Gladwellian logic jumps.

Ah, hi, you two. Are you guys married?

I'm... I didn't do anything wrong here.

- No! - What do you mean no?

Matthew Sobvechik? That guy had all the charm of a broken Etch a sketch.

- Then we'll meet them down there. - We gotta do it now, yeah.

- A man of the law. - Yeah.

Here we go. Why did you take it from him?

I will meet you there. I will be right there.

Unless someone signed you into the building. You are not a guest.

money in my decision making, so...

She was vibin' me pretty hard in that meeting.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Well, hey... hey, how about we go on a date?

- I'm not one of your dates. - That is very true.

'cause he's angry all the time.

was with Lainey but it really turned you around

- No. Please... - Is everything alright?

♪ With a lemon tree ♪

- Alright. Let's go. Alright. - Okay.

Oh. Your name is Elaine?

- Please don't interrupt. - I would love to hear it.

A really, really large dose of fear.

- We need to be over. - I asked Emma to marry me.

Come on. This is the third time.

- Do not say her name. - Was a lot...

♪ Everything's going down ♪

- Yeah, I told him earlier. - We all knew. You didn't know!

You know, I thought we were joking around. So I was joking.

Uh, no, no, we're good.

- How's your fake boyfriend? - Oh, my God!

The problem is Captain Amazing

- And that's called... - Kegeling.

Fucking maniac.

Yeah, it's like... it's like Ted Bundy, you know.

I wanna tell you something, look at me.

Broker Searching Money From Broke Trader

- Sure. - Elaine, what is it that you do?

God, those are all bad.

the things she holds close to her heart

And I, uh, didn't. You know, I just, uh...

And secondly, do not gaslight me with SAT words

And now have stocks vesting until 2018.

I love you! I'm gonna murder you while I love you.

- Your neighbor? - No, I...

Well, uh, are you... I mean, are you gonna go? What are you thinking?

- Go to noodlesalad.org... - Now, I feel like you're just trying to find problems.

She nice to you?

- We should probably... - Let's go fuck first.

I was watchin' you in there.

You, uh... You wanna watch porn?

I mean, she kept bringing it up.

deserves better than that.

You're a whore!

Well, you know, that's Dim Sum for you.

that a straight dude had to tell you all that.

Tequila makes me so chatty.

The kid's having a great game, you're embarrassing...

- Here we go. - I gotta go. I just gonna go outside for a...

I know this guy from somewhere.

and she literally had one of the best natural bodies

♪ What you want ♪

I don't care if it's a woman or if it's somebody else