Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I wanna be able to talk you about this kinda thing.
right before we got married.
- Uh, yeah. Anything. - Let's go, come up with one. What you got.
...they could mate with as many men in one session as possible.
So I call her last night
Jesus. I... I've got my fingers crossed out here for an option C.
.
♪ Oh so lonely ♪♪
- It's like, Elaine! Elaine... - Hey!
Honey!
- I love you! I love you! - Jake, I love you.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Lainey, what are you doing?
What?
♪ I'm so lost in my head ♪
♪ 'Cause it's a thrill to give you ♪
You want me to tell you what sex is like, huh?
♪ Treat me like a fool ♪
but if you want me to come...
Okay, y-you know what it's called. Wonderful. Good for you.
Oh, I know it. Bein' Honest ...honest, critical appraisal is the foundation...
A little adrenaline, in a bad way.
'Cause honestly I have enough friends.
Hey. Second... second point. Okay?
No!
Yes!
- Fucking awesome. You know that's... - Yeah.
Yes, uh... uh did I not tell you that?
It's not like we haven't done it.
I don't deny what I've done. I embrace my past.
Who's your girl, Jake?
Because he have to control these lives
It was?
- Oh, may God. - This is my wife.
Why? Because I happened to be in your eye-line?
Why are you telling me she's Black?
You ever see him around?
Oh.
Make a golf cart in my own motor transportation.
- No, the lady doesn't need it. - Excuse me.
Elaine! Elaine! Elaine!
I spend about a month's rent on this.
That's my husband! Oh, my God!
- Oh! - That's awful!
At that point you're gonna wanna squeeze your vagina harder
- Really? - Yeah.
[cellphone ringing]
[instrumental music]
- Okay? - Okay.
Oh, my God!
[screaming]
But you're so old.
- Yeah? - Hmm.
- Please. - No, no, no. It's just a friend.
What? Is that a real thing?
I'm so, so sweaty. All this on...
You don't have to go for lunch yet.
- Oh, many times. - You have not had sex for 90 minutes.
over a randomly selected dumpling spot
You're a fuckin' whore!
Get ready for a classic Jackie freakout
Tweet tweet tweet.
- Lainey? - Yeah.
See you in 20?
unavailable avoidant breeder you don't fuck.
- Okay? - You can't even say it.
I'm talkin' about, like, the White Album, not Hook.
I didn't know we put a down payment on this place.
Bye, Chris. Thank you so much for tonight.
[upbeat music]
Studying for the MCATs, you know. You?
Yeah, 5 years ago.
- It's him. - Him who?
Swell.
Who? Who? I'll murder him.
I'm not attracted to you. And I have zero penises.
Oh, my God. Were y-you just in that meeting?
- You got this, Henry. - There you go, Henry.
Wow. Bathroom fucking stinks.
So much like your, uh, the counter-intuitive plan
You got it, boss.
...contractions in your vagina, alright?
- Hey. - We made it work.
Excuse me.
- So, okay, so it needs to be more violent. - Mm-hmm, something extra.
- Why are you here? - Hmm.
- Both. - I can get to like, 6 and a quarter.
I was...
Moi. Your issue with me and Sarah...
Alright, well, goodbye forever.
What's up?
I'm gonna have to call the campus police.
Yeah. I'm listening.
- Jake! Jake! - Don't answer it. No.
All that tension in your shoulders. Legs crossed, playin' with your hair...
I'm sorry the doctor is unavailable right now.
You know what? I'm... I'm... You mind if I run
- You might be right. - How could you fuck her, Jake?
- We did the date. - You know, I think it was the first...
- Take care of her, okay? - Oh, yeah. No, I got this.
♪ Fuck it baby I got you ♪
I guess, I just thought that eventually he'd choose me
- Lainey. Lainey... with an L. - Oh.
Oh. We should take our driver.
that we gave birth to.
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪♪
You know, so it's No, no, no. It's not you, it's me.
Well, I haven't seen him in a long time.
Can we please go home?
I feel like he had longer hair.
- Okay. - Can I just hold them now?
Stephanie Sanders. Right here.
- It was one short story... - Yes! That is great!
- You're my last single friend, I can't have you... - So what?
to secure an exclusive relationship
- Congrats. - Thanks.
I miss your cock in my mouth.
I know that you stop breathing when you kiss.
I love cutting to chases. Do it.
Well, from safe word to code word, I guess.
Very sick in the head.
This is the Bieder contract that has to go to legal for comments.
- Give me the phone! - No. Absolutely...
Like he hadn't even noticed that we stopped sleeping together.
The regular. Come on.
...way about you.
[cellphone ringing]
to introduce him to other people.
- That's how bad it is. - Wow!