Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Keep going! - Oh, right. Yeah, um...

The guy I lost my virginity to

I'm telling you, someone's gonna murder us if you keep screaming...

Hey, I'm on Facebook!

- Okay, stop screaming that. - Rich as shit!

Emma and I are gonna stick around for another hour or so.

You know, that's how actually Henry was conceived.

for the first time, and then I play him Blues Traveler.

I thought... I was just joking around.

I'm... I'm sick.

Shots. I'm getting everybody shot. Shots for all round. We're going to keep it going.

Okay, let me be super clear here.

You don't remember someone sneaking into my room right before...

And then said, Come and lick my asshole if you're bald.

I fucked your sister.

Oh, no. Well, let me... let me drive you home.

that lived next door to me, the boring guy.

You boring, fuckin', asshole!

- Uh-oh. - Goodbye.

And the day you made me yours.

I know that. I'm not saying you have to date her.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

We were just having brunch

♪ I'm sorry baby you're stuck with me ♪

You talk to me about chicks you screw all the time.

[sirens wailing]

Okay. Well, we go see a movie. During the day.

He never calls. He always texts.

- Hi, Miss Dalton! - Hi, Miss Dalton!

because I have no right to, you know, and...

I'm surprised Matthew hasn't mentioned you.

I did hack into my supermarket's Instagram account

I was married for 8 years.

But sex doesn't get in the way of our friendship.

- We're... we're best friends. - No, we're best friends!

Oh, my God. Are you guys high?

- I know. I would love to hear what you're telling me. - Sam.

Lainey, you're not an addict, okay?

I mean, he's... he's actually dating. He's not cheating.

- That's... We don't get that enough. - So sweet.

- Mind the gap. Tap the roof. - You got it.

- Yes. - I have to say, I don't mind it.

in the dorm to sleep with you.

No, I'm... I'm sorry.

- It could be mutual. - That's a yes.

I need you to swear

- Mm-hmm. - And so I always chose him.

- What do you think? - Yeah.

- What are you doing? - What?

Yes, we're gonna have sex for 9 minutes.

Because I... I lasted longer.

[indistinct chatter]

And how do you appease your Khaleesi?

- I can't get hard right now. - Do show me.

It's just a friend. It's no big deal.

was at my sex addicts meeting.

- Yeah. I'll check it out. - Okay, good.

It's no trouble. Thank you.

Come on, buddy. You can drive.

- So who was the girl? - Hmm.

former bottle of green tea.

You're gonna drive some guy crazy some day.

We have made a generous offer to settle this lawsuit.

by circumstance and certainly duration

What're we doing in this aisle?

First of all, I gave birth to them.

First off, in our initial conversations about exclusivity

- Stop wanting to. - I mean, are you kidding me?

- Disappeared. - Oh, plus you were all hung up on that guy

- Fuck you, Matt. - Why haven't you returned any of my calls?

Wow! The Old virgin.

That's how I text with him.

Second thoughts?

- And then there will be plenty of room. - A whole thing.

I saw ya. Checkin' your phone every 5 minutes.

Okay, can I cut to the chase?

This is the greatest movie ever made.

- Or feeling attracted. - Okay, but it's mutual?

They don't want to go swimming.

You can't even look at me and just say her name.

♪ But I try I try ♪

What? Why? What did I...

- I really did. He fucks everything in life up. - Yeah, yeah, I do.

Como que va a cantar el coño

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Easy. Easy.

Hey, did you see me take out that cab? Sydney Bristow style?

Did you... No, seriously, did you not get along with your mother?

I miss making you cum.

- Well that explains a lot. - Full circle.

Do you wanna come to Henry's birthday party this weekend?

And I know a place with cheap tequila.

I will straight up murder you if you do not sign this immediately.

Congrats, boys. You have officially sold out.

No, Kara and George are shipping it to me on Monday.

♪ Fuck it and whatever ♪♪

and now you're a pod person.

♪ Come on come on come on ♪

Uh, but I mean I never really factor

When did you get this good?

- Don't take that tack with me. - My friend lives here...

I don't think I interrupt you, but go on.

- We're actually rolling. - Ecstasy?

Great. I have a final at 3:00.

I lost my phone in a cab.

...you're like the hardest drug at the coolest party, you know.

So we wouldn't fuck it up but...

And then they all get mad, and then they turn on each other.

Because you have repartee with everybody.

- Yeah, I mean... - Dick in a mousetrap!

It's so weird meeting someone when your husband has seen her...

Are you one of Matthew's patients?

No, that's okay. That's okay.

when my dick doesn't get as hard as it used to, okay.

Matthew and I were at Columbia around the same time.