Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Some dork newsboy is being held hostage by an armed and dangerous ex-con.
And guess what?
Oh yeah, that would be another way of handling it, sure.
quaint appeal.
You're gonna kill me?
Elsewhere in the news, Charo thrills a sold-out house at the Greek
This lice-ridden piece of sub-human trash is getting paroled today and she wants to come here!
I mean, people that have fallen on hard times deserve our love and our compassion.
Stand in the place where you were, now face what.
You know, I am so sick and tired of people hassling poor innocent ex-cons at the drop of a hat.
What am I?
Over our dead and rotting corpses.
Well, she got away, you idiots.
And I need your help with this one, Gus.
I can see why you wear a sheet.
That's right.
What's all the commotion?
That's it.
Oh.
Look, buddy, if we jumped every time that kid was held hostage, we'd never have any lives of our own.
Interesting turn of events, huh?