Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

So we're gonna mix it up.

She didn't touch my ass one time.

- This is a bad idea! - Come on!

No, no, no. You gets no second chances up in here.

Hey! That's Teddy.

It's not a hard math problem.

Come on, come on. Mac!

Bobby likes to hit piñatas!

Go, man! Hey! Who you honking at?

Keep looking! Hands up, suckers!

I don't, man. The teacher is tough as hell.

The exit doors are locked down. There is no escape.

What? You wrong.

It's a birthmark!

plus night school. It's too much!

You can't outsmart Mother Nature. And that's what a woman is.

The baby right there!

So get out the way, bitch. Move! I can't allow this, Carrie!

And here you are.

Who you lookin' for, fam?

It's not a sob story.

There's a lot of instructions, Teddy.

I'm your wife. I'm not your mommy,

Let me walk you out.

I'm on my break.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

There's never been a teacher that believed in me the way that you do.

- Teddy! - Teddy's back!

And I don't like spicy food, but this one...

- Black love. - Okay.

Someone ought to call the cops!

So let's get that baby neat. Eight!

I don't even deal with politicians.

Crack that nut like a walnut. Thank you. No, thank you.

Are you on crack? It's Snap.

If you don't know me, then you couldn't truly love me.

Don't even look at him. Stewart's an asshole.

What up, king? Come on, man!

I don't have nothin' to say to you!

- Jesus! - Get off me! Get off me!

A lot of money in tips

Well, there's no cure for what you have.

You don't even wanna be here! I do wanna be here.

So 15-squared is 225 divided by 6-squared.

Amen! Yes, sir! Welcome, Brother Teddy.

Okay, here we go.

It's a hexagon.

Tell your mother that she can go buy a box of G-strings with her nasty ass.

Okay, before I do that...

You little scrawny midget! I'll hold on to it.

Game face, Lonnie.

and this world is stressing me out.

So I've decided, when I retire...

Your life is built on a financial house of cards.

Okay, everybody, calm down. All right?

so you can achieve properly unencumbered neural pathways.

we thank you for bringing little Teddy to us here this morning.

I went through some of your old high school records.

You got it right, Teddy!

I'm goin' all out.

You got my back, I got your back.

Hey, baby. I miss you. Are you still at work?

Good to see you. Yes. Thank you.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.

No, thank you, son.

He's jealous of your beauty.

Very impressive!

See, the nigga here, but he ain't here!

Oh. We love McDonald's.

So my child gets an assignment about the solar system,

or what kind of watch you have on?

What? Is there a problem with the dessert, sir?

You see? Y'all don't...

I can't even see. Where's my mirror?

I'm gonna take a little bit of it. Get in there.

No, no, no, no. Okay. No. I didn't realize that's what this was.

My name is Carrie.

What the hell'd you go to jail for, Bobby?

About 10 times.

Ashamed that I couldn't take a test.

and unfortunately, we don't offer night school here.

That way, you don't owe them anything.

Now, I know we got off on the wrong foot, so I was thinking,

Oh. I'm so nervous about tonight.

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that we just watched a prison fight?

Well, there goes those 400 points.

What are you? The volume control police?

Oh, my gosh. Why'd he come on the bus like that?

Okay, so no lobster.

This should fit you perfectly.

with your broke ass.

I am the music teacher.

For learning disabilities.

He here, but he not.

It's a simple physics problem. Just jump.

One-time me. Teddy!

Now, when it comes to titles, I don't even care.

to get off a speeding ticket and guess what?

But I love being a mom.

Damn! It's the PTA meeting.

Okay, well, welcome, everyone.

Did you bring me some dried shamrocks, leprechaun?

Wait a minute. Wait, I passed!

So I'm just gonna order us some food.

Um... No. I'm...

But there are no decent sales jobs for an employee of the month at Barbecue City.

"Hygienist." He's saying "hygienist."

Baby, you can have whatever you like

They vegetarian?

It's still not funny.

- Come on! - God damn it, Luis.

No. Actual propane?

Don't Let the Doorknob Hit You Where the Good Lord Splits You

I can do whatever I want, Teddy.

You stop! Get off me! Dang it!

I'm offended, too.

I'll allow this to happen. We just tryin' to get a vibe, though.

No desert, no snake gonna take me down

What's he doing?

I don't need that. I haven't flirted since 1996,

I orchestrated the whole thing. It was all me.

No, bro, you sleepin'. I move some coke or some dope in the day,

You know, that's what I was talking about

All right, guys, listen.

Hell, you get 400 points just for signing your name!

I mean, that's actually one of my account managers.

Good luck, everybody.

He was tough on me. He said some things.

He is quite frankly a terrible student

So I'm here to try to make a little extra cash,

I know that much.

So, I don't know, I was thinking

Focus. You better get it right!

And I have a flash of news for you, guy. I manscape down here.

but really, you're just looking at one thing.

I appreciate the whole "after school special" moment.

Hold on. Marv, let me hit you back. Yo! Oh, shit!

It won't work. I see you, Teddy.

God, that guy is a douchebag.

I work at a fast food joint.

You don't know Randy.

It's five. Easy. Okay, you're looking at five squared.

What I'm not gonna do is do it in a chicken... Goddamn!

Come on, we're clearing those neural pathways.

No matter what it takes

Excuse me for asking, but are you doing a black voice?

He said it. Don't make him say it again.

Go get a job at the post office then!

and just got replaced by a robot.

Get off the truck.

Yeah, of course, he did, Marv.

What? Why wouldn't you lead with that?

Well, anyway, my knees and my back are really jacked up

Okay? When I think "man," I think you.

you wanna uplift your customers' palate.

We got Minister Louis Farrakhan at the table.