Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

ALL: Chivalry above self!

ALL: No, no, no!

Yeah, this is amazing.

You are the only one of our friends that has a house and a kid.

(IN NORMAL ACCENT) That's how adults do it.

I would masturbate into her. MAC: That's not how it works.

Somebody call 911!

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

No, I'm not. You are.

We can't lose half.

When All Else Fails

Get ready to read the headline of the century.

She's not named Dean. That's her job.

Oh, like her mom, I bet.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

All righty. Well...

Bros before hos.

Oh, God! Oh, my God! That was scary.

(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

What do you think we should do?

Yeah. What's happening?

Yo, cops be robbing niggaz blind With the dollars...

And they were reprimanded for that

We fucking did it.

It's fine. We're divorced.

Oh, gross! They look like my grandma's legs.

We did it. We did it.

My parents got divorced.

Her vagina bye, it's ruined.

I love you, dawg. I love you.

It's not funny. That was really bad.

and then you know what happens?

Milk yourself! Try milking yourself!

So, how'd the meeting go?

Well, just because I'm a father,

Hey! You Delta Psi?

Whose a good girl? I am Daddy

We're just trying to get to sleep.

No, I'm counting on it. I'm Batman.

Teddy is gonna graduate this year

They look totally like normal glasses.

No one's gonna stop you.

Right there. Yeah, yeah!

so we can both just kill each other.

and your little princess over for a play date.

We did it. We fucking did it.

She sees shapes fucking each other, is what she sees. She can...

That's disgusting! Exactly!

You have? That is messed up.

I'm sorry, baby.

You don't think I was clearly trying to mask how I really felt,

Dude, all that shit I was saying the other day

I'm a supernova. Burn bright, die young.

Yeah, have a good one. Try not to die.

Then Teddy is gonna want to kill Pete

They're old and lame.

There's no normal way to milk a human woman.

Oh, the university might be interested.

Yes, I want to see something amazing.

Cool, cool. How is that?

to live next to a frat house is a frat house.

That was udder-ly traumatic.

I promise you, as the President of Delta Psi,

Nice. He's gone.

Hey, I just wanna let you guys know

Baby, I nearly came.

(SINGING) We're gonna go to the shops

We've been thinking. What gets frats

Why don't I stick something up your ass?

Whose a good girl? I am, daddy!

Please don't put us on probation.

What Dak Prescott yelled before running the qb draw with 14 seconds left

Whose a good girl? I am daddy

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

No, not tonight. Not tonight.

Yeah, I'm bored, too.

No 'shrooms for you, mister.

Brad Pitt before grab clit.

You interested in working for AT&T?

What do we got?

You here to ask us to turn the music down?

It's not cool here. Sorry.

I'll fucking kill them! No, no.

We'll give you $1,000.

It's never coming back. No.

I got a headline for you.

Maybe I have been a ho who's taken down some Bros.

Because we are in the weeds.

They're buying off the whole neighborhood with their slave army.

(BROOKE MOANING)

You know the boy who cried wolf?

What do I do? Do I get to do something?

Just like, you know, If you could just keep it down.

NEVER CALL US AGAIN

Do you promise?

Would you be my surrogate, Kelly?

(SIGHS) Tomorrow's a new day.

Haze me. Say it.

There are the girls. KELLY: Hi.

Dicks in our hands.

are at the school pep rally.

No, no. There was, but I shut that down.

Our names are not Fuckhead, or Jizzface, or Lea Michele.

Let's go! This is not a fucking drill!

And after that one fateful sip,

What is she doing here? Wait. What is he doing here?

I just have one thing I wanted to say.

I was so stupid.

Are you okay, man? You seem distraught.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Penis completed.

Shit, homie, we've been beefing for too long.

Just a little taste, a little taste.

want to find, and I'll go find a real man.

Catch up on some Z's, okay? Take a nap.

Let's fill it with dreams.

Don't kidnap our baby!

Look, we're friends with both of you.

Gentlemen, take a look at the wall.

Negligent Parents Allow Baby to Swallow Condom.

What up, man? How's it going?

You're doing a great job. See you upstairs.

Officer, you know how it is.

This is like Christmas. Oh!

Hey, man. BOTH: Oh, shit!

We're not gonna get caught for this.

Okay, distraction. What? What do we do?

She's Heisenberg. She's Walter White.

I love our hand soap that's shaped like seashells.

We've got to save... Come on, we're so close!

Because Teddy is just an idea.

Are you okay, man? You seem distraught.

Is that a balloon?

What's up, man?

Real estate is a fickle bitch.

I mean, as a child of divorce, I just...

What the fuck are you looking at?

Do it anonymously.

We couldn't have planned it better.