Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Is he retarded? Yeah.
There's a man in the water. [COUGHING]
- [ALVIN] Go! - Alvin, do you know what you're doing?
- You going South? - Nope.
You are not thinking clearly. No, I'm thinking very clearly.
E-E-Ed, swallow that.
I wanted to say my appreciation for your hospitableness.
Oh, well, you're a priest. Yeah.
[WHINNIES]
You remember? Yeah.
You don't understand. You can't go home. [SIREN WAILING]
We can solve this between us.
He said it's time to forgive.
Well, I guess I got nothing to hide now, so--
I just met this really terrific woman.
[SPLASHING]
What do you know? You slept through the whole thing.
Ohh... mentally retarded.
Yeah. I have the same thing in my wallet.
Forget what? I got eyes. I know you. Forget it.
♪ but remember the Red River Calley ♪
♪ down through the chimney with good Saint Nick ♪
Yeah, nothin's changed, huh, Dave?
And as far as periods go, oh, it was a mother.
[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
Shit!
Don't aggravate the old witch. I wish I was a witch.
and that something bad is gonna happen as a result of this transgression.
Mix the two together? No, the Brandy's for me.
Bas ab bohot gya Mujhse nahi hoga iit
Huh? That's my bus.
Flying would be out of the question, especially in this weather.
What are you watchin', Marla?
Does that look familiar?
Looks like they got company with them in that jeep.
When you're upstairs, you're up. And--
A sleigh? Catch the sleigh!
- Hold on, Alvin! - [WHIMPERING]
When I go to a friend’s house for the first time and try to be polite Can you.. would you please pass the uh... giblet gravy?
Good evening. May I assist you with your specials tonight? Yes, waiter.
Hmm.
No, ma. Dave and Alvin would never steal anything.
I apologize for my brother. He's uhh... Mentally Retarded
Everybody, nothin's gonna happen. Keep your hands up and relax.
Alvin Firpo. You have been labeled a kleptomaniac.
Please-- please, I can't-- [CASH DRAWER OPENS]
Come on. There.
I told them there was a sniper on the roof.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER] Vic?
I knew you'd react like that. That's why I got another copy for your future perusal.
Well, it's nice to see you too. All right. Let's go see ma.
Look, can I ask you a question?
Going home to your fammily? No, just my mother actually.
You're surrounded by 10 men. Helps to relax you.
Thank you. Thank you.
How? Clovis! They're bullshitting you!
Well, according to the post, they may be home for the holidays.
[SIGHS]
Vic, we put the money back.
♪ [CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
[DAVE] The town bank.
oh!
What?
I show them a picture of ma, and they start shooting at me.
Just put the ball away for now. Thank you.
- Don't make eye contact. - He's turning around.
Edna? Edna?!? Are we sleeping together? I think not! You idiots!
Come here! Come on! Come on!
[SPUTTERS]
I'm just real lucky you're going the same way as me.
And gotcha! [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] I'm coming, I'm coming.
track you down like dogs,
[WHINNIES] [ALVIN] You stay there, Merlin. Stay there.
Oh, come on. Now, would I do that to you? Dave...
- Gag her. - You're doing me a goddamn favor!
No? [CHUCKLES] No what? What are you talking about?
It wasn't your fault. It was my fault, ma. I-- I convinced Bill...
I just called the bus station. There's a road to the South open that's going to Philly.
[SCATTERED RESPONSES] Merry Christmas. The snow came down pretty fast.
[DAVE] What's that?
We gotta have a serious talk! Now get me the hell outta here! Uh-oh.
Shut up!
We were out here skiing, and the back of it-- Oh, man!
Aw, baloney. Are you sayin' that stuff was stolen?
You got-- no? All right. Raise your hands.
Are you coming along with us? No, no, no. Not you two.
Stop the madness! All right, all right, all right.
Where were you five hours ago?
Run! Run, Merlin! Run!
huh? What? What?
No choice. But he resisted, every step of the way.
Timmy!
[DAVE] And out.
I detect resistance.
You two are on parole. You cannot leave the state. You are in my custody.
[DAVE CHATTERING]
[CHUCKLES] Ma.