Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Um-- - Well, well, well.
Don't come in bouncing off the walls.
That's wonderful.
Oh.
You know what? I'm gonna change the song, then, for you.
We were very close growing up. I mean, we shared bunk beds.
But why did he bite them?
But I don't know how Santa's gonna know where to bring me my gifts this year...
Well, I would imagine he's probably a very hard worker, considering.
Listen, I don't wanna hear no futzing from you, pal.
Stop it. Use your words. Use your words.
- I wanna hear you say the 22nd. - It's gonna be perfect.
It's hard to pass these beauties up. You're too generous.
Okay. Now, I think we go to Roger.
...because I know you. You didn't know.
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
- I wouldn't know my way around reindeer-- - Hey, Fred.
Come on.
Um, I actually have some things I'd like to talk about if--
Papers? What are you from, the 1950s?
Somebody's gonna get in trouble!
Charlene. We still have plenty of time, don't we?
Don't get physical with me. We're trying to share.
What the hell, it's Christmas. Go ahead, make another call.
Oh. Well, Santa did ask me to give you a full orientation of the gift-giving process...
I'll see you before then, right?
- I've been good, Ma. I've been real good. - That's nice.
You marked every naughty child as nice.
Whoa!
Whatever. It's gonna be fi-- We're gonna work it out.
Oh. I just wish you were a little more like your brother.
Yeah. I need to get to the North Pole right away, like, tonight.
Right. Call the cops, man.
Really? I thought you were here to take advantage of your well-meaning brother.
Take his legs out!
Hey, Fred, it's Leon. It's the 22nd. This is your big day, buddy.
Well, but it could get so much worse, Santa.
You can't just run up and kick someone like that. How old are you?
If I tell you, it would no longer be a surprise.
Great.
Here comes "Here Comes Santa Claus" on NP-100.
My man, Fred.
All the kids' letters come here to the North Pole Post Office...
Wanda, there's this unfortunate business situation I have to leave for tonight.
- Rest assured, my man. - Mail delivery.
Can't dance yet.
Without them, we have no idea what the children want.
Hey, guys.
...and I don't even recognize them. You know, like, "Oh, of course. Charlene."
Fred.
Let’s get drunk And make some bad decisions
If you guys are gonna go out this year...
The feet are dirty, the couch is clean.
Yes, I'm sure it was.
Oh, boy. Okay, that seems pretty cut and dried.
I despise reindeer.
- ...but I know it can't be good. - It sounds like he's in a tough spot.
How am I ever gonna be seen in public again? It's ridiculous.
What?
And I'm feeling very uncomfortable with where you're coming from.
Got you. Got you.
Fred, I feel ridiculous.
Most of the time, we just end up staying over at her boyfriend's.
It's the story of a boy named Fred.
People help the people
...and even his life.
That's it. One more time, come on. Yes.
I find all the good kids.
He's a fame junkie.
You're not gonna believe this.
Well, what can I do, Mr. Northcutt?
He'd run and he'd fall flat on his face.
The world grew to know and love him as Santa Claus.
You already know what it is, so it's not a surprise.
Ha-ha. Oh, Nicholas.
...and trying to keep them at bay so you can get you to come through.
...he fulfilled his mother's prophecy.
- Willie, how do I do this? - Just say "ho."
Let's get you to work.
Very important, okay?
What I'm trying to say is that when it gets to midnight...
Red Fred has entered the building. I repeat, Red Fred has entered the building.
...that little tree could grow up strong.
...and on the History Channel was the State of the Union Address from 1993.
But I feel like my brother's Santa Claus because my brother really is Santa Claus.
So 5 grand, Michigan Avenue Police Station...
Uh...
I am confident that they will impress you, sir.
...he became angry.
- I hear you. Let me out! - Let's heat it up! Let's heat it up!
- And he's bashing the Salvation Army. - I'm not bashing the Salvation Army.
I feel good coming here. I like it here.
- Your brother gave us quite a shindig. - Fred sent a lovely gift, though.
Don't bring a snowmobile to a snowball fight, Nick.
I'm bringing all my gifts to him. He needs them more than I.
Mr. Claus? Hi. Hello. Welcome to the North Pole. It's so nice to have you here.
That's great. I'm really happy for you, Nick.
Yeah, I am, Nick. I'm gonna give you $10,000 for Christmas.
Please make him welcome and let him observe.
And you're gonna have a child before you graduate college.
Are you there--?