Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- I wouldn't know my way around reindeer-- - Hey, Fred.
My man, Fred.
Somebody's gonna get in trouble!
Can't dance yet.
- I've been good, Ma. I've been real good. - That's nice.
That's it. One more time, come on. Yes.
...because I know you. You didn't know.
It's hard to pass these beauties up. You're too generous.
You already know what it is, so it's not a surprise.
Oh. Well, Santa did ask me to give you a full orientation of the gift-giving process...
What the hell, it's Christmas. Go ahead, make another call.
Great.
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Don't bring a snowmobile to a snowball fight, Nick.
Fred.
He's a fame junkie.
I am confident that they will impress you, sir.
Uh...
All the kids' letters come here to the North Pole Post Office...
...and trying to keep them at bay so you can get you to come through.
- Your brother gave us quite a shindig. - Fred sent a lovely gift, though.
You're not gonna believe this.
Papers? What are you from, the 1950s?
I'll see you before then, right?
I find all the good kids.
So 5 grand, Michigan Avenue Police Station...
The feet are dirty, the couch is clean.
The world grew to know and love him as Santa Claus.
If you guys are gonna go out this year...
Charlene. We still have plenty of time, don't we?
...and on the History Channel was the State of the Union Address from 1993.
- Um-- - Well, well, well.
It's the story of a boy named Fred.
Without them, we have no idea what the children want.
I'm bringing all my gifts to him. He needs them more than I.
Fred, I feel ridiculous.
Please make him welcome and let him observe.
That's great. I'm really happy for you, Nick.
Ha-ha. Oh, Nicholas.
Here comes "Here Comes Santa Claus" on NP-100.
...he fulfilled his mother's prophecy.
Got you. Got you.
Right. Call the cops, man.
Really? I thought you were here to take advantage of your well-meaning brother.
Let’s get drunk And make some bad decisions
Whoa!
Red Fred has entered the building. I repeat, Red Fred has entered the building.
Well, I would imagine he's probably a very hard worker, considering.
You marked every naughty child as nice.
...and even his life.
Stop it. Use your words. Use your words.
Yeah, I am, Nick. I'm gonna give you $10,000 for Christmas.
Whatever. It's gonna be fi-- We're gonna work it out.
But I don't know how Santa's gonna know where to bring me my gifts this year...
Um, I actually have some things I'd like to talk about if--
Are you there--?
- Willie, how do I do this? - Just say "ho."
Yes, I'm sure it was.
He'd run and he'd fall flat on his face.
What I'm trying to say is that when it gets to midnight...
But I feel like my brother's Santa Claus because my brother really is Santa Claus.
What?
...he became angry.
Listen, I don't wanna hear no futzing from you, pal.
We were very close growing up. I mean, we shared bunk beds.
Okay. Now, I think we go to Roger.
That's wonderful.
- Rest assured, my man. - Mail delivery.
How am I ever gonna be seen in public again? It's ridiculous.
- ...but I know it can't be good. - It sounds like he's in a tough spot.
People help the people
- I hear you. Let me out! - Let's heat it up! Let's heat it up!
- I wanna hear you say the 22nd. - It's gonna be perfect.
Oh, boy. Okay, that seems pretty cut and dried.
Take his legs out!
I feel good coming here. I like it here.
Hey, guys.
Mr. Claus? Hi. Hello. Welcome to the North Pole. It's so nice to have you here.
And you're gonna have a child before you graduate college.
And I'm feeling very uncomfortable with where you're coming from.
Well, but it could get so much worse, Santa.
Oh. I just wish you were a little more like your brother.
Don't come in bouncing off the walls.
Don't get physical with me. We're trying to share.
...that little tree could grow up strong.
Let's get you to work.
I despise reindeer.
Yeah. I need to get to the North Pole right away, like, tonight.
Hey, Fred, it's Leon. It's the 22nd. This is your big day, buddy.
If I tell you, it would no longer be a surprise.
Very important, okay?
Oh.
You know what? I'm gonna change the song, then, for you.
Most of the time, we just end up staying over at her boyfriend's.
You can't just run up and kick someone like that. How old are you?
Well, what can I do, Mr. Northcutt?
Wanda, there's this unfortunate business situation I have to leave for tonight.
But why did he bite them?
- And he's bashing the Salvation Army. - I'm not bashing the Salvation Army.
Come on.
...and I don't even recognize them. You know, like, "Oh, of course. Charlene."