Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Sue, when I am President... - You won't be.
to take over the ranch so I can focus on my watch-making.
Yes.
The journey that we begin tonight
Senator Talbot, and Governor Calhoun,
I am not shaped like a rapist!
- Selina: Oh, God. - Ma'am, Governor DeVito
Ben? Where can he do the least amount of harm?
You've been completely knocked out of the news cycle.
As excited as I would be
You soulless, conniving cunt!
( takes deep breath )
No, Ben! You're my hatchet man.
right up our party's platform,
Ben: Morning, ma'am.
So, what did the Palestinians do this time?
in a pool of jizz
you rue more than--
Oh! I hope I can count on your support.
You came to the convention
You want coffee from across the street?
Impressive negotiation, ma'am,
Ben can't have been more than 140 years old.
( crowd cheering )
Mike: The Presidential motorcade has arrived,
You here to see me get interviewed by Mike on CBS News?
Don't you see you've just been offered the second-most powerful job
That sounds great. Fire Dan. He sucks.
The President told me to pencil you in to half-past. Go fuck yourself.
Mom, you need to tell the party
- I forget her name. - No.
and I fell right off.
I mean, you strike me as a smart woman.
with that framed photo of his family's trip to Aspen
You know, it's worse having to hear it from Mike.
- Don't do it. - What?
I know. Why are you telling me things that I already know?
It's the only move we have left now,
Kent: No, no! No.
- Let's go. - ( distant cheering )
whose daddy fucked with her just enough
That is your punishment.
decent, God-fearing heterosexual men
The president was in close contact with her husband Andrew Meyer
Ah! I got it. Little chia seed.
after the IED attack.
to let me into the Oval Office!
if you guys ever want to buy or sell a piece of property
- So we'll put a pin in that. - That too.
next stop, the White House,
My wife, my pregnant wife, is not answering the phone.
Yeah. I couldn't have done it without ya.
Maybe because he has two testicles.
OK, fine! Jesus fuckin' Christ,
- Excuse me? - How'd she feel about tedious lesbians?
- how do you take your coffee? - Decaf.
Oh. Madam President.
( whispers ) Glasses.
What are you talking about?
More like a childless aunt.
- Selina: The FBI? - up until his extremely suspicious death.
and I proudly accept your nomination
Selina: What is Leon doing with her?