Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT FELDMAN'S RESTAURANT?
BEGINNING SALUTE.
WHY DON'T WE MAKE A PLAN TO HARASS FELDMAN SOME OTHER TIME?
"MY MOTHER IS A PERFECTIONIST."
WHAT? I'M WEARING A MASK.
HE SPENT THE WHOLE SUMMER GETTING STONED.
WELL, PEOPLE LIKE BRANDY.
HONESTLY, MOM, I DOUBT THEY'LL FIND 12 PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T BEEN FIRED BY YOU.
JOKES. WHAT ABOUT THE ONES FOR DR. PHIL?
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A DATE.
I MADE YOU DINNER.
HE FLINCHES, ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY TIGHTENS UP FOR A MOMENT.
WE DON'T OFFER A COMPLIMENTARY BREAKFAST.
AND THEN I FOUND THESE, AND I'M JUST SO UPSET.
I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH THE VALUE OF A GOOD PAINT JOB.
THESE WERE SHOVED IN MY LOCKER THIS MORNING.
THE PICTURES OF YOU AND FRANCIE IN THE PARKING GARAGE
TURN IT OFF! LET ME EXPLAIN!
THE WORD "NO" SEEMS SO WILDLY INADEQUATE ALL OF A SUDDEN.
YOU MADE BEEF JERKY FOR ME.
SHE TOOK THOSE PICTURES. SHE'S SETTING ME UP.
SO THE FACT THAT ANYONE WOULD HOLD A MEETING
EVERYONE'S BOOKED AND READY TO GO.
IT'S MY SENIOR YEAR, TOO.
BUT YOU'LL PAY $2 MORE AN HOUR,
SO TURN THAT LITTLE NEAR-LUXURY CAR AROUND,
"WOULD YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER AN EXTREMELY CRITICAL WOMAN?
I KNOW I'M REPEATING MYSELF, BUT THE FELDSTER?
AND FRIED MARSHMALLOW PIE FOR DESSERT!
I AM? I'M HIS DAISY.
YOU REMEMBER WHAT FELDMAN TOLD THE COPS?
BECAUSE SHE MADE NOISE WHEN SHE WALKED? YES.
THAT YOU MET WITH HER BEHIND MY BACK.
OKAY. SEE -- "IF YOU GUYS HAVE LUNCH
SOME OF THOSE CONVOLUTED SCHOOL ISSUES -- MIND-BLOWING.
LUKE'S? LET'S GO.
YEAH. OR "I'M MARRIED" MIGHT WORK.
FROM DRIVING OFF THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN.
JUST TRY IT. NO! NO, NO.
AND HOW TO WRITE A DIARY. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?
SOUNDS LIKE FATE. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
YOU SURE? I'M SURE.
YOU WANT CHEESE ON THE BURGER?
ONCE. IT WAS NOTHING. WHY WERE YOU DEPOSED?
WHAT'S THAT? THIS? NOTHING.
IS FOR YOU TO GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION ABOUT MY LOYALTIES.
PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO BE UPSET. NO ONE CALLS YOU DEMANDING OR UNREASONABLE.
HERE. LET ME GIVE YOU SOME MONEY.
THAT HAS JUST BECOME AVAILABLE RIGHT OUTSIDE OF LITCHFIELD.
AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET A REAL DATE.
YOU SAID "SURE." WHICH, TO MOST PEOPLE, MEANS YES.
[ FOILS CLASHING ]
LOOK...
TELL ME YOU GOT PICTURES OF JACKSON AND HIS GIANT HEAD.
AT THE STUDENT COUNCIL MEETING WITH PARIS?"
YOU GUYS COME UP WITH A NAME FOR YOUR PLACE YET?
NEXT, HE'S BEANING HER WITH THE ICE SCULPTURE.
YOU'RE MARRIED. YES, I AM.
'CAUSE YOU CAN ONLY SEEM TO GIVE ME THE MOST BIZARRE OPPOSITE.
IT'S STARTED! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CALL ME.
AND THEY TASTE LIKE FEET.
I ADDED SOME MORE PORT TO THE CUMBERLAND SAUCE.
WHAT'S JACKSON GONNA SAY?
HI. GOOD EVENING.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY ADVISE IT.
UM, RIGHT. HI.
I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE PHONE CALLS.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]