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- of Eleanor stealing my train. - Now, hold on a second.
Okay.
Because we ran away. Are you...
The original perpetrators are here.
we can just send them all to the hot spike pits
but when I woke up, the two sides
I was about to turn myself in.
We improved each other,
We did a good job. Well, I did a good job.
and sing to her and wear one of those dumb hats
♪ A life that's full ♪
that I would help him figure out his new phone.
not Jianyu, the amazing and incredible monk.
Just me being here forced Chidi into an ethical "clusterfork."
We're the ones who misled everybody
It's the only thing that makes any sense to me
Please, I'm begging you, please.
Babe, we are going to be trying to make love all night long.
and each one of us demanding we should go to the Bad Place,
No, this doesn't make any sense.
Hey, you two lovebirds figure out how to have sex yet?
This is exhausting.
Does your brain work, actually? Do you have a functioning head?
Does your brain work, actually?
If this thing goes sideways again, you are done.
I'm just The All-Knowing Judge of All Matters in the Afterlife.
We tried to improve ourselves and you know what?
it is "ethically."
♪ I'll state my case ♪
Well, given that she's the only person
No, I'm going. End of everything.
and we did for a little,
everyone here has done bad things.
I love you so much, baby. Promise me you'll visit.
What up, ding-dongs? Yeah, so basically, um,
- Gonna need a drink or three. - Definitely my kind of gal.
Four people, perfectly suited to make each other miserable.
Eleanor, come on in.
However, I've just received word that Eleanor is not currently
No, it doesn't.
So I drew up plans for this foundation that would help kids all over the world,
Y-you ruined everything, you know that?
We're going to a Medium Place.
and my soul mate doesn't love me.
You do have feelings for her, don't you?
- They... - They know this is the Bad Place.
it was real self-improvement. I made the decision to help
We don't have to go back, though.
Your problem is whether you get tortured.
Uh, don't I get to weigh in?
Ugh!
This is about survival.
I will not.
After I came up with everyone's characters,
We did a bunch of amazing, awesome stuff
would advance human rights, revolutionize agriculture,
because I had already promised my landlord's nephew
You gotta look out for number one.
It's the same results, except if you stay here,
you don't get tortured.
for all of the neighborhoods, good and bad.
Eleanor, you really suck!
Sorry, that's how I ended most of my serious relationships.
to have rats living in my hat and pulling my hair
- Who are you? - I'm Janet.
Yeah, that checks out.
You'll be reporting directly to the front office.