Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- But you wanted it giftwrapped. - I did but...

- Hi, Sarah. - Hi, Karl.

(From DJ booth) Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

I hate Uncle Jamie!

Absolutely not! We didn't And do not consult on that either

I'll have a look but I'm pretty sure I wiped it, so don't get any hopes up.

Yeah, you're still sickeningly handsome, whereas I look like my Aunt Mildred.

and we need Leo, and we need them now.

No, absolutely not! We didn't and do not consult on that either

I can safely say that is the worst record I've heard this century...

"BITS AND BOBS"

Hmmm. No, Absolutely Not! We do not and didn't consult on that either

It tears my heart in two

There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?

(Sound turned down)

OK. Terry, I won't be long.

And your very loud typing

For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl.

(Female DJ) 'It's almost enough to make you feel patriotic,

Well, if it's not too much of an inconvenience.

And I can't breathe

(Portuguese) Maybe you could name one of the characters after me.

It seems no matter what I do

- Harry? - Sarah,

So, what's the problem, Samuel?

Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas Don't leave me alone

- Got to go. - Bye.

It's great Scotch.

Who do you have to screw around here To get a cuppa tea and a chocolate biscuit

Worse than the total agony of being in love?

or, when I hang up,

I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.

THE SAME. OH. IT'S THE SAME.

Make my wish come true

'I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport.

- (Music stops) - Yeah, erm,

Don’t buy Noel Gallagher concert tickets Live near Wythenshawe Park and hear the entire concert for free

(Wedding March becomes La Marseillaise)

And what does she, he, feel about you?

'but I'm hoping for a late surge.

(Juliet) I am so happy to see you!

"Come on and let it snow." Ouch.

- Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth. - Oh.

You sure you don't mind me going without you?

And then when he sometimes does come out, it's obvious he's been crying.

(Daisy) What is it?

Er, either I could behave like a real rock'n'roll loser

So deep I can't sleep, I can't...

Yes, she's American.

but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life.

- Nein! - Ja, darling!

Good morning. I had an uncle called Terence.

It can tear you up inside Ooh

(Yes, I'm lying)

the great Mrs Jean Anderson.

Meat Loaf definitely got laid at least once.

We've never got friendly.

so do you believe that by 2037 we will turn the new on gillard? yes i believe it, and by 2099 expect more taxes to bonk.

Visions of sugarplums have disappeared...

Not that Josh Groban crap again!

Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.

I think I've got it all figured out

Oh, you were wonderful.

22 is alot of men, Daniel

Try my lovely nuts?

I'll make you so sure about it...

God only knows what I'd be without you

- Lovely, yes. - Thank you.

Well, now, that was an interesting day.

A friend who bullies us is no longer a friend

I thought it was time I did.

NOT REALLY! ABSOLUTELY NOT! WE CANNOT AND DO NOT CONSULT ON THAT EITHER!

- (Sighing) OK, fine. - Thanks and, er, be nice.

I may not always love you

Alex reminds me of.....

- Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy. - Hm.

I'm actually yours, with love. Your Robert Mueller

Just be patient.

or maybe Munchies?

Well, we need Kate

- Before we run out of chances. - Who, me?

Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey. You all right?

Everyday at DCAA!

Merry, so merry...

Just any bar. Just your average American bar.

I know my heart I know my heart can make you happy

thought it'd be something worse.

And if you want more

No. I realised that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.

Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages to get the courage up, so thank you.

Just maybe go and see something Christmassy or something.

He now spends all the time in his room. I mean, he'll be up there now.

What did I do? I made a papier-mâché lobster head.

Good King Wenceslas looked out

Er, bugger off, call me later.

Excellent. Excellent. Perfect, keep that going.

Well, erm, where do you live, for instance?

No. I've done fuck-all and never will because he's too good for me.

none one is going to pick you if you don't cheer up

So, let's go. We can definitely crack this.

Of course, if you want me to come over I will. Mm-hm.

It is chock-a-block full of puzzles It is chock-a-block full of puzzles

I don't want a lot for Christmas

Let's, erm... move on, shall we?

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

Who do you have to screw round here to get a cup of tea and a biscuit?

- Wives and family and stuff? - Yeah. I mean, not children.

(Man) 'Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world,

Actually they’re not funny They’re art

Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003.

(Eva Cassidy: Songbird)

Tell me I've got to know

Ah, right. Well, er...

(Girls) "Straw."

Chappel Roan is the Midwest lesbian who taught your cold english wife how to feel.

It's a personalised felt-tip pen.

And they called it...

- (Knocking) - Yeah.

Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace

Yeah, sure, sure.

Unfortunately, she cannot speak French, just like you.

All alone on Christmas Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas