Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

If they didn't, he will.

Suddenly, I understood why superheroes only existed in comic books.

That should be really difficult for you. Are you okay?

It was time to engage.

Mysterious traveler from another dimension.

I mean, that's not homophobic, is it?

Johann Gambolputty

Kill my men, huh?

What's with the high-fives?

One of us is still a cop, remember?

I lied to you, I know.

or see what me and Katie's kids would look like

You're out of luck.

Who the hell is this guy?

You saw him bringing out like a ton of stuff.

According to him, you sold him my coke and you took the money.

That you're a greedy little cocksucker or all my coke was stolen by Superman?

What the fuck are you looking at?

Here, kitty. Here, Mr. Bitey.

All right, come on. Go ahead.

are burnt to ashes and buried.

You know it ain't Halloween for another few months, kid?

I had something worth living for,

We're gonna show you what they can do. Go ahead, boys.

so I promised her my Kick-Ass days were over.

I’m just fucking with you

- Stop with the fork. - I apologize.

- Yeah, but that's not fair! - Yeah, life's not fair, kid. Get over it.

and a slightly elevated capacity to take a kicking.

- Tony! - Tony.

Is this Frank D'Amico's place?

- Did you hear that? - Holy shit.

it could be one of the most widely-viewed live events in web history.

Show's over, motherfuckers.

Yo, kid, who the hell are you? And what is this?

Who the fuck are you?

Well, there's this one guy Rasul, and I felt so sorry for him.

Mindy Macready.

but you don't pronounce it. Like in the word "Knuckleduster."

- You wanna go talk to him? I can move. - Dave... Dave should go.

I need these things.

Don't take it personal, though. We don't trust anybody.

Okay. You gotta stay away from Katie now. It's over.

after a 911 call from someone claiming to be a superhero...

Is he the kind of guy you'd go for, with all that leather?

- Dave? What the fuck are you doing? - I'm sorry.

It ain't gonna bring her back, Damon.

I'm not going in.

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

eventually, fantasizing just doesn't do it for you anymore.

Yeah, man! You and me together, we would own!

- Yeah, that's fine. - Get him a Pepsi, and I'll have an Icee.

A superhero never reveals his true identity.

Now in France, they say the word "stick" like this, bâton.

Can he hear you? I don't think he can hear you.

- Are you sure? - You gotta help me, Vic.

What kind of kid has a... A Spider-Man party, sure, but a fucking Kick-Ass party?

You're a pussy.

I want your hands all over me, Dave.

High-fiving bullshit. Keep going, keep going.

Holy fuck, Fashion, everybody's dead.

Welcome to this special edition of Eye on New York.

I'm right here now, baby. What's up?

where she's like a shoe designer, can't get a guy?

you know, we didn't get beat up and have all our clothes taken off.

see what's really going on.

Kick-Ass, I'm sorry!

Can I get a puppy?

and I ain't gonna disappoint him.

Do you feel like checking out that new Kate Hudson movie

I'm going to convert you to a comics reader right now.