Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, don't do this! You don't need to do this!

I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer.

In the 18 months since my mother died,

I don't fucking believe this.

Except that wasn't true.

Look at this asshole just watching.

However you lived before,

I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy.

Hey, come on. Hey, I know some very bad people uptown,

- Okay. - We had a deal, Dad.

- Fuck. - No. No, no, no.

Do you think they got them?

Hot Chocolate, Extra Marshmallows.

- and you don't deliver, that's when. - Give me a break. It's been a week.

Whoa! Whoa! Boss, what are you doing?

And if you're reassuring yourself

Chris, you got to look at this from my point of view. Okay?

You're the kindest daddy in the whole world.

And three assholes

- 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour.

You look sharp. Look at all them buttons. Do your job. Open the fucking door.

He must have taken that right before he died.

Go on. Yeah, I think it did.

I said, who really sold you our coke?

He must be someone's son, someone's brother,

I said, what the fuck are you looking at?

Excellent, good.

who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live.

I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder

Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one.

Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase,

My condolences, Frank.

Come on then, bring it on!

Dave Shouldn't You Be Looking At Hamlet Right Now?"

All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me.

or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.

It's a little kid. What's the matter with you?

I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and lovely as you.

Guardian of the universe.

I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?

"I'm Just Fucking With You, Daddy."

So you want to play.

- Is that yours? - Meet the Mist Mobile.

it's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you.

- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right.

Shut the fuck up, kid. Your daddy's the boss. You go home.

Hey! God! No, please, please!

Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard.

No, no, no! It's me, it's me!

- Check this out. ...dressed as Kick-Ass.

Chris is Red Mist?

What kind of children's enter-fucking-tainer is that?

They make the best white chocolate mocha latte.

I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0.

has decided to take crime-fighting to a new level,

You better fire this asshole.

Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.

The AR-15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?

I always wanted to say this.