Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What are you doing? What the hell is that thing?
Chris, where do you think you're going?
I wanna touch your penis
What is this? What am I looking at here?
That's not me, by the way.
X-Men, the Fantastic Four, right now, I envy the crap out of them.
Look, I'd love a Benchmade Model 42 butterfly knife.
How about both of us being dead? Is that serious enough for you?
Hey.
They still have that metal detector at your school?
Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll?
Show time.
- Shit! - Let's get out of here!
- He lie about... - Fucking mamaluke.
I just need to clean my...
Good at getting his ass kicked.
What the fuck is going on?
Sure. Thank you.
What the...
it didn't take much to set me off.
I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance.
Kick-Ass?
So now I'm getting fucked in the ass by a ghost?
You're fucking crazy, kid.
Well, do you think they can help us?
You guys never saw One Night in Spider-Man?
- Hi! - Hi, sweetie.
They're all dead! Everybody in the warehouse is dead.
I'm not high.
...are gay. - Gay?
- Kick-Ass... - Get him out of here. Get him out of here.
something to lose.
Do you wanna deal with owing my dad?
Yes, it is.
I don't know, if you wanted me to be your sidekick or something...
Tony Romita, one of America's most-wanted crime kingpins,
but all I did was make a door into a world I'd dreamed about
He got something to do with you, Damon?
I'm Kick-Ass.
- Dave, you should totally go. - Go.
Big Brother, watch and learn.
You wanna go fight some crime?
He promised he wouldn't.
Are you shitting me? No, he's fine. He's with me.
- Everything okay? - Everything's all right, boss.
He should call himselfAss-Kick instead.
Okay, when I tell you, stop the car. Ready?
...on the latest corruption scandal. And coming up after the hour,
Joe, you're in charge.
Spider-Man gets the girl.
I got it.
it is now clear that the hostages are in genuine danger,
- Yeah? - Just got the text. He's on his way.
but it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.
I'm sorry. Did you see this cat?
No.
Katie Deauxma's all about the lame ducks.
Vigilante justice, mass murder. Come on, partner.
You know what this is?
- See you later. - God, see you.
- Boss, we gotta go, man. Come on, let's go. - Fucking scumbag!
In America, we say "stick" like this. Baseball bat.
- Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up? - What's up?
Boy, I don't know.
I swear, when my hormones balance out,
I ever heard, Tre.
You are fucking awesome.
And my world was much safer with all the new superheroes.
Hey. Hey, man, can you hear me? Hey.
No, he's with me. He's okay.
He would have wanted me to finish what we started.
Going up against a crowd can get kind of scary, don't you think?
No, it's not even hero. It's just fucking psycho.
Please open your books to Act 2, Scene 2.
I didn't say we should talk to him. I just...
I know this sounds fucked up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture,
What, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is this?
That's a fucking lie!
- Give me the bag. - It's just comics.
Please.
- Capes rock. - Yeah, I'm kind of feeling the cape.
Your call, but you know we're around if you need us.
You know what? Todd said they do still make Count Chocula.
who gives a shit about the fucking lumber!
Everything was out of control. I didn't know what the hell to do.
Mommy I want a kick-ass Party Dumb Little Fucks
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!