Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

My son was there, and he's still missing.

but it was a start.

If you don't get your wannabe superhero ass in the car...

Okay, pop quiz.

So at close range like this, the force is gonna take you off your feet for sure,

- I killed all the cameras. - Apparently not.

fighting a bunch of guys.

Know what else we do? We don't do them individually.

You wanna be my sidekick?

But we do got a brand-new industrial microwave.

I care about you a lot, too.

that I'm gonna make it through this since I'm talking to you now,

What? Look, you can't go on...

So what in the hell are you guys waiting for?

But don't get me wrong. I like girls my own age, too.

Not until somebody finds this cocksucker

We got some of Kick-Ass's bâtons.

You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?

Kick-Ass is killing my men, Gigante, that's what's up.

- Get up. - Thanks, freak.

What? Are you looking at me? Well, this is my business.

And let's be real, no other request could have given me more pleasure.

Daddy, I think I found one.

I care about you a lot.

He looks like a transvestite...

in a gang-related attack last week.

Okay, baby doll. Sleep tight.

- Shit. Fuck. - Red Mist!

Hit Girl and Big Daddy, they were the real deal.

Who am I? I'm Kick-Ass.

there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks.

and Daddy started a plan of his very own.

You know what a silent "K" is?

I'll tell you who owes her a childhood!

What's your name?

Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.

Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee.

Check this out.

Excuse me, ma'am. Have you seen this cat?

- Okay? - You fucking motherfuckers!

No, I'm just standing around, you know.

We should, like, talk to him. See if he wants to hang out with us.

Comic books this kid reads all fucking day long.

Dude, if anybody did it in real life, they'd get their ass kicked.

Well, you know who this guy is.

I should warn you, that asshole Gigante is looking for Kick-Ass.

This would be the guy that looks like Batman?

But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy.

- No problem. - You're the best.

Take my fucking coke?

Yeah. But I want to get some popcorn.

What do you want to drink? You want a Pepsi?

I'm... I'm a friend of Katie's.

A worldwide web broadcast of the New York superhero

You're on the news. Call me.

- Did you see those bodies? - Yeah, man.

But more importantly, I talked her into mailing Kick-Ass.

Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass.

Wow, that's weird. I'm usually the one playing therapist.

Do what you got to do.

I was getting back to my old self.

The point is, some fucker is killing our guys.

'cause I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit.

- leaving him totally vulnerable to the... - All right...

Maybe it's the porn tape. He doesn't have a porn tape.

Something wrong?

That must have hurt! Let's see that again from the other side.

That "long term" enough for you?

All right? I was only trying to surprise you. I'm...

and he came up with a plan to get rid of Daddy.

- I know a way you can get him. - Shit.

Mindy moved in with Marcus, and he enrolled her at my school.

which witch is witch? witch is the witch that can cast spells on whiches and winches.

A handgun bullet travels at... More than?

Playtime's over, kid.

and break your fucking legs.

Hey, early birdie.

All right, up you get. Come on. Two more rounds and then home.

The world I lived in, heroes only existed in comic books.