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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
(audience laughs)
-Well, then don't follow me. -We came in the same car.
shouldn't be scarier than actual war.
Okay. You want to make this interesting?
-Con Ed? -Emphasis on the "Con."
always so far from the control room?
-You're exhausting. -(laughs)
(intro to "Pink Shoelaces" by The Chordettes plays)
And seven turned out to be dead!
My phone's not ringing.
(door closes)
♪ Oh, your city lies in dust ♪
-Whoopee! -(cheering and applause)
You'll simply be overqualified dishwasher repairmen.
a closet full of fat suits.
(scattered applause)
He's kind of a jerk.
♪ Your former glories and all the stories ♪
You can't eat with the children.
How can you be so sure?
Uh-huh.
-Could you all come with me to the telethon? -So... Dr. Benjamin.
That's money left on the table.
And where are the others? Wasn't this class bigger?
You hear about the big arthritis telethon on WNPO next Tuesday?
It is now.
to perform everyday tasks.
Can't even what, my darling?
You're down for five minutes at 2150.
Carry on.
Can we start over? I really want to solve this.
-She can't do that. -(chuckles) Ballsy.
Why would she perform on this thing?
It's 50% there.
And for those of you at home who aren't conscious
This is Mrs. Maisel, comedian.
-What was that? -Wrong number.
(laughs) You are still a hoot.
thank you. I started reading it once
You should consider a sabbatical.
-MIDGE: Shy Baldwin. -MAN: Next!
You're interrupting my steam.
What?
Come on, man, we've talked about this.
Thank you for the music.
Whoa, whoa. Who took down Sophie?
It means the world to us to have so many people care.
-Oh, yeah. -What's his name? I forget.
My refrigerator is not running, sir.
This was just... unexpected.
invites you to join her for a chat with a few...
-All right. -(laughter and applause)
Stupid me, I thought the telethon was a good way for you
-It barely cuts cheese. -Truman didn't even say good-bye.
because Sophie's an asshole.
(applause)
Your race can have her.
♪ Children were running ♪
If you get confused, just add the number 12
A seltzer, please. Ice.
It's New York. Could be a gay hooker.
-DICKIE: I'd use a bucket at this point. -Hey.
♪ That burst with charm ♪
-Go vouch for my girl? -Done deal.
Now please, cut to the chase here.
MIDGE: No, I'm not interested in the Encyclopedia Britannica,
-(chuckles) A lot better. -(chuckles)
Hello and welcome to the telethon.
my TV-friendly material to,
ABE: We should donate.
You get laughs from people who are drunk
I'm a good guy. I'm still me.
60 grand?
Take your time,
Yes.
♪ We found you lying ♪
(laughs)
Hope my wife stayed up for that. She'd love it.
-Yeah. -Pop, this is a fortune.
tune in next year for our fourth annual
Piece of cake.