Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Ew. I mean, awesome! (CHUCKLES)

I really tried everything I could to be the man that she wanted.

Yeah? So are you!

You know, lam a little bit curious- How is it that a guy like you is unattached?

Like trash or a piece of poop

Aw, buddy, I love you for that.

Touching me, touching you

MALE NARRATOR: We are often told

We all agree all the time.

All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please!

Being back in that church again.

And a piranha's a fish, just like your Balloons.

I don't talk to pretty girls that often. Pretty women, ladies.

who's filling in for joni mitchell? amanda hall.

Ha! Fuck you. Fuck you.

WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY, TUNNER?

CLUKR IS FUCKING STUPID WHO HAS A NONSENSE CYMBAL AND BRUD IS A FUCKING WHORE WHO HAS SHIT SKIN

I would, like, kick so much ass At momin!

Maybe we don't want you now. Shut up.

I'll get right down to it.

I feel like he might take it pro Bono.

He'll help us. Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse...

That's all I want for him.

Yeah, it'll be fine. We just got to find some firewood.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

me and Teddy can totally leave the room.

No, that's his first name.

When you're standing before me

Hey, what's going on'? What are you doing here?

Who's Supermanr Whatr

So, you think this Meighan guy is gonna help us?

I don't think he should want to be considered a person.

You people are monsters.

I don't want to. I don't have to.

There's lube right there.

that this stuffed doll is a person?

MALE OFFICER: All units, we have a 3-17 on Maple Drive. Area units, please respond.

(SHOUTS) The boxing...

How about a location? Let's go with a location.

Watch it. Jesus! Watch where you're going!

(SHOUTS) What the fuck?

Where did they get him?

You two still not talking?

I'm just kidding. I'm fucking with you. Come onl

Jesus! Why did you bring him here?

You know, I never would even have tried to adopt a dog

(TED LAUGHING) Holy shit! Oh, you motherfucker!

and somebody handed her a bunch of balloons

Oh! Ha-ha! Motherfucker!

And America doesn't give a shit about anything.

I just love you so much.

It is the same beast, just wearing a different face,

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

But we don't know any lawyers. All our friends make sandwiches.

Shit. All right.

Don't Never Losse Her

She was giving you the fuck-me eyes.

All right. I'll shoot him an e-mail right now,

Cookie Crisp in your bum-bumzies. I'm sorry. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Uh, sir, I apologize for my 5-year-old son.

Nah, Tami-Lynn tried to sign up for Obamacare on the Internet,

You were my thunder buddy for life.

Oh, my God! We got to celebrate!

Toothless and ready to go. Just 3 dollar! 3 dollar!

What is that? What?

Well, not because I'm a junior attorney arguing her first case.

As for complex emotions and the capacity for empathy,

She's a model. Ted, come back!

You see them two white niggas over therer

What the fuck did you just call me fucker

Oh, why can't you just say please?

Do you love your wife?

What, like garbage or a piece of shit?

What the hell is wrong with you?

No! Look, I'm sorry about that, okay? I'm sorry.

TED: So do you say "Arizona State University" or do you just say "HPVU"?

(CAMERA CLICKS)

I'm standing up for me and I'm standing up for the homos!

Yeah! How's your tongue taste in your own ass, Poindexter?

You don't mind the pot, do you?

My turn assholes!

JOHN: Hey, guys?

Look, Sam, this is a really bad time, all right? Something happened to Ted.

Give him a milligram of epinephrine.

would never be walking together!

I'm told that you have an open-door policy here at Hasbro

Tami, (SIGHS) listen. I love you.

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I'm not gonna remember a movie I've never seen

You asshole! You think this shit is funny?

about every chick that throws herself at you.

I just don't want my lawyer singing frozen songs

take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I don't have any papers or nothing.

Ted. How are ya?

than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh?

I mean, if you ask me, we got to fight it.

You want to be human in the eyes of the law.

He got a little wasted, so these two dudes took him out back to sober up.

Do you love Tami-Lynn?

and will be recognized in the terms set

Hello? There's something happening.

TED: The offices of Charlie Hebdo.

You don't have a license.

Well, you know, we wanted to take you out to dinner,

Crying running rob

TED: So, uh, basically that's it. We need a sperm donor.

I completely agree.

Everybody always says that about their salad.

(SINGING) Hey, you lawyer guys

Beautiful ceremony.

Hey, I did my community service.

I was reluctant to bring it up because

Cow What are you doing here?!

but do you mind if I ask how old you are?

Holy shit! Donny!

I swear to God, I'll kick your goddamn ass! Who was it?

Yeah. Uh, I'm Ted,

Where do you think you are? Red Lobster? What are you doing?

Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! Unh! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair!

shall we get started?

for us to make an actual bong.

Dress up like we're into this shit and fuck with the nerds.

Sam, you dig him, right?

TED: This is the best day of my life!

because we're not really working with much money.

RICK: Nice lunch, spaz.

(LAUGHS) I know, I just said your name.

MAN: Oh, shit! Jesus! Come on!

Do you know how devastated I was?

Get the fuck out of here!

Most civil rights cases are, but this one has some very obvious wrinkles.