Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness!

I know, I know. It's just that...

I totally fucking got you!

is suing to prove he is indeed a person.

Yep, bring it on.

block.note_block.guitar

TED: Yeah, Sam. This puts us in kind of an awkward position, here.

What does that even mean? Like, you're a thing?

I'd, uh, like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cereal.

JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more

Sir, if we could cut him open to see what makes him tick,

The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game.

That was an accident.

And (GASPS) he had a dick! He had an awesome dick!

A little bit. I learned when I was a kid.

Then, by the power vested in me,

And no matter how many

Right there. Death to Ming. Yeah! Come on. All right.

just take a seat and get to work.

Uh, it's been discussed,

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

but I need you to go to the waiting area now, please.

Have you guys at least tried marriage therapyr

JOHN: Oh, Teddy, he's adorable.

Down that hallway, to the left.

Um, in the case of Ted v. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts,

how would you categorize your relationship with Ted?

Sitting out here in public, jerking off'?

Here it comes. Okay, okay. I'm ready.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

You come with me? Sure.

He's the only guy in the world whose sperm

You should have seen your fucking face!

No, I'm... I'm nervous because of one simple word.

Trish: 300 black ops! Bob: It’s actually blackout…

block.note_block.imitate.piglin

Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair! Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair!

she was looking at black cocks.

Johnny, come on.

Well, that was the logic I arrived at as well.

What are you talking about, "private shit"? Johnny, it was wide open!

Who gets subjugated after the bear?

Mmm, it's actually delicious.

"Well, this is different," we say, but it isn't.

so I'm supposed to check out the unit.

Jesus Christ! Listen to you! You're delusional!

We're married. I don't care what anybody says.

YOU’RE COVERED IN TALL GUY SPERM, YOU LOOK LIKE JOEL ASSAGAIER.

(R&B MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

What the hell do they know?

I am trying to climb the corporate fence, here!

on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull?

I love you so much.

Look, look, John, John.

I can never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, can I use your laptop?

argues that the standards for personhood include self-awareness,

Great, great! Here, follow me.

Italy Japan Spain United States Of America Germany France England Brazil

They're all a bunch of fucking liars.

when and where did you first encounter Ted?

with just a splash of Grey Goose?

You do understand that I myself am not a childr

It's so beautiful.

Frozen songs during the opening arguments.

Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it.

You're always cutting me off!

over your divorce lately

(STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else.

What do I think you're doing?

No words. (SNIFFLES)

Now, the case we'll be examining today is really quite a simple one.

This is a nightmare.

a little boy named John Bennett made a wish

No further questions.

I'm sorry to say I won't be taking your case.

(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

(SOBS) So beautiful.

No, but I'm pretty sure Mr. T could kick their ass!

(STRAINING) There we go. Thanks a lot, come again.

(PRICING GUN CLICKING)

Wow. That's the cornerstone of any great marriage.

You just have to hang onto the wall.

他妈的闭嘴！

Dear God! Dear God in heaven!

we could take him back, with only a trivial degree cf legal consequence

You look a little down.

of you smart-ass Harvard lawyers try to keep him down,

No, I love it. It's really good.

Dude, have you seen the guys in Boston?

John, you've been saying that for over a year-and-a-half

What do you mean?

if I had known it was gonna cause me this kind of shit storm.

Oh, you guys are getting married?

fulfill their dreams of having children.

TADASHI: Hiro! CASS: Hiro!

Hey. You didn't let us down, Sam. You did your best.

Gill! Sharkbait! Tell Your Dad! I Said High!

I'm sorry. You three are gonna have to wait outside.

Dude, that's fucking awesome! Congratulations!

(LIP-SYNCHING TO SONG)

now that you're legally a person?

Oh, no, you're right. No, Johnny, it's fine.

and The Importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing.

Yeah, you're his boss and you two guys are enemies!

Well, I have to interrupt you or else

What do you mean? I mean, we get a lawyer.

JUDGE: Thank you, Mr. Wild, for your opening statement.

I could assign her to your case, pro Bono.

just because you're singing a song I don't know.

you're not gonna change that.

Well, first of all, there's the question

A baby? Like really?

Hey, Johnny, how about a beer, huh?

Go get my Cookie Crisp out of his ass.

that they're probably having a debate.

One that loves me just as much as you love John.

I just don't want you to get mobbed when people recognize you.

What are you buying over there, Tami? Gold bars?

You don't deserve him, John. You never did. You never did!

(IMITATING ROCKY SOUNDTRACK)

All right, yeah, thanks.

So what do you sayr We all goodr

So you can go fuck yourself.

Oh, my Godl Are you kidding mer

(GAVEL BANGS) Order!

Congratulations, Ted.

You know, I'm surprised a lawyer like you gets high.

Raphael And Master Shake Versus! Lotso!

You're acting like a fucking asshole!

I want to feel useful, you know?

No, the circuits could still be reconstructed if somebody worked at it.

Your and Ted's attempt to buy marijuana charge

God damn it! What the hell's wrong with you?

Could've been a leader, a role model.

It's the intermediary station before insemination.

Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch!

How are you feeling, John?

The reality is you have a really shitty lawyer.

I'm so sorry, baby.

Hey, watch that floor. Comes up fast, man.