Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME.

I discovered that portal. It's my livelihood. Do you understand?

No reason. I was just thinking.

I look really amazing. I'd fuck me.

- and then those who don't, right? - Right.

- Want me to phone it in? - No.

But I must enter by midnight on that day.

And 50 other lines to get into a girl's pants.

Well, speak then, if you must.

Exactly what, uh, type of service does this company provide?

It's quite a thrill, Craigy.

'cause we're gonna turn it into a business.

I want to do it!

What the hell, you know?

Okay. Ever want to be someone else?

and putting everybody to bed.

On the lighter side of the news,

Lester just wouldn't let me get away.

I'd like very much to see you again.

and seeing what they see and feeling what they feel.

That's what makes him one of the most relevant artists of our time.

is, I think the world is divided

I left Malkovich for you, sweetie!

I'm sorry. I didn't know Orrin Hatch was out of his cage.

because Lestercorp's open during the day,

And the ones who don't go after what they want,

You don't know me, but I know you.

I've decided that I'm a transsexual.

Because I raise issues.

John, uh... What is, uh... John, um, uh...

I can explain about the portal, darling.

Hello, Don. Hello, Wendy.

Well, perhaps you can.

I'm splitting' for the day, puppet man.

No, that's what I'm saying.

- Don't toy with Floris, Schwartz. - Oh, no...

But, Maxine, there's something, I don't know, like profound here.

tell me, Dr. Schwartz, what do you feel you can bring to Lestercorp?

- I'd love to see your work. - Really?

I've never done this before, but...

but I can get us out of it, if you want.

There, there, my dear. Relax.

Rather than thinking of it as an enemy that has to be pounded into submission,

and high-ceilinged rooms mock my stature.

He immediately went to see who pooped in Chief's office (even though it was himself!!!)

And they won't allow it...

Excuse me, sir.

Hey, everybody, I'm home.

recoiling from the limelight and, rumor has it,

No. I am really attracted to you.

You're my friends. Thank you.

There's no such thing as a hole, or a portal, into somebody's brain.

I'll say you are.

and I'll spill my goddamn guts for ya.

Maxine, this is... this is so right.

I'm not asking for alms

of Chicago's world-renowned Steppenwolf Theatre Company.

that I'd found a way for us to live forever? All of us.

on his 44th birthday.

Treats for everyone.

Yes, there is. A brain, or soul or whatever.

Oh, yeah? What's he been in?

No, he's much too powerful.

You'll catch your death out here. Look at you. You're soaking wet.

- Okay? - Maxine!

to just follow through on our instincts, like Malkovich has,

And I would like to redirect my career

And well, even speaking to you now has gotten me sort of excited, you know?

You shouldn't be so quick to assume that switching bodies

So, listen, why don't we have dinner tonight?

You're making him weep, but you are not weeping.

Of course. Right this way, Mr. Malkovich,

I know it's the craziest thing, Craig!

You got the job.

Dr. Lester, this is all really fascinating and stuff,

Don't call here anymore, okay?

The puppeteer's voice need not merely be the record of man.

Okay? It'll pass.

Was ever woman in this humor won?

Lotte, Maxine. Maxine, Lotte.

Derek Mantini doesn't need a day job.

- Lotte! - Move right hand across left breast now!

I have a very unhealthy obsession with John Malkovich.

You're not gonna meet her there?