Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

We gotta get out of here before the people who live here find us.

so that anything it expunges smells like Lysol.

- Wait... - Get down on your knees...

- What the hell happened? - That terrorist fuck bit my dick!

Yeah, and how can you be so sure, Beecher?

They were locked up for less than an hour, and they already escaped?

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Asshole, get out of here right now.

I tripped a beaner while I was walking down the stairs...

Look, were you able to work everything out with Kumar and Harold?

# And we keep going on and on and on and on #

What's this? What do we have here?

# I want your fish right by me #

- Shut up. - We're gonna die in a jungle!

I'm sorry. So, wait a second. So you're not with this dude?

She was a bitch and you know it.

# Nah, baby, I don't smoke Newports, only fat bags of weed in this Escort #

# Don't make me have to cut up a thug #

# Your dick look like a little kid's #

To form a number we prefer

- Your job sucks. - Admit it.

All right, y'all! Come on over here and we'll sit around the campfire.

Tough. That's tough. That's a tough one for her, isn't it?

I fucked up, OK?

- He's white! - So what?

Now, I thought that part of your life was in the past.

This is serious.

- Motherfucker! - My Jordans, nigga!

You think that just because I'm smart...

No, I wish Neil Patrick Harris were still alive, that guy fucking loves him.

Listen, I was wrong about you, dude. You're not a douchebag.

I'm just saying that I can handle my own shit, all right?

- Yeah, that's really productive. - Let me show you how it works.

isn't yours getting married or something?

Let's go, come on!

Thank you, ma'am.

Great. Now let's get those pants off.

# 'Cause most likely I got a blunt in my mouth #

I don't want to hear the excuses!

Look, I know things can be hectic with the wedding.

You're walking towards the creepy music?

He's actually pretty funny.

# Rob this motherfucker, drop his punk ass in a ditch #

Szeptemberi 27, 1971

What, are you like Doogie Howser?

Sure, sure, yeah.

- Oh, my God! - No!

- Harold? - Kumar?

So I guess Raza's...

She was Whoopi Goldberg's stand-in.

- Get on your fucking knees! - All right. All right.

Why do you think that is?

Thank you, come again!

Plus that dude has date-rape face.

- Hold up. - You want to smoke now?

# Your dick got the HIV #

He told me you got a job working for the government.

that I'm letting the only woman I've ever loved marry that piece of shit.

- You'd best watch your back, bitch! - Fuck you, dude!

The last thing anyone would want while fishing for pike is to be interrupted.

But we're almost there, man.

Dude, I'm not scared 'cause they're black.

- No. - Holy shit!

If you guys need anything else, just let me know, all right?

Tell them we know what their son is up to...

My idiot friend here brought marijuana...

I'm taking the most incredible dump of all time, man.

Good, you brought the keg. Lug that thing over.

- No, shit, dude. You all right? - Fuck! I think so!

Nail on the head.

- Where are you going? - Bang bang, buddy.

You speak Korean?

- Kumar Patel, you're flustered. - Little bit.

- All right. - Hold on, hold on, hold on!

# Don't need nothin' but a good time #

- But you showed the starship troopers... - Neil!

May I remind you that we both just ate 30 burgers...

Don't you be cussin' when we got company over.

Harold and Kumar.

What am I even saying? You look different and...

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Yeah. I would imagine so.

# Come on, praise God #

Screw that, Roldy. I don't know about you...

and if they don't cooperate, he could be sentenced to death.

- Shit, what do we do? - Let's go sit down.

# That was in the beginning #

- We've done that before. - We can do that.

Dude, I can't believe they're getting married.

It's tough love.

Vanessa? You OK?

- Is this true? - Yeah, it's true.

Everybody relax. Just calm down. Everything is under control.

# And it don't get better than this #

He totally would have been able to bail us out.

Hey, you really got some major connections to the top.

You Arabs think you can just mix in with our peaceful society...

but the Klan really knows how to party.

Well, maybe if the people in your country stopped eating donuts...

By not bringing drugs on an airplane?

- Yeah? - We get that a lot.

Screw that. You think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people?

# For lettin' me live another day, hey, hey #

It's not my fault she didn't lube up.

# What you need, girl, a fucking refill? #

I fear that I will always be A lonely number like root three

Maybe we should get the fuck out of here.

- Please don't let it be Big Bob. - I'm Big Bob.

I deserve an Oscar for that performance.

Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry.

Sure there's not something you wanna tell me?

I know. They're gonna be...

- Kumar? What are you doing here? - Yeah, let me help you up.

Bump your titty on her titty.

I don't know what you're saying, buddy...

They abandoned it last night. It's registered to a Raza Syed.

# We keep holding on and we keep being strong #

You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich?