Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Fucking shit. Why did you do that? - Yeah, I hit a fire hydrant on purpose.

If you like weed so much, why don't you just legalize it?

But they... It's not even clear that they should have been there in the first place.

Colton! Colton Graham can help us out.

OK, first of all, that was Goldstein's idea...

Fellas, this is my wife Raylene.

Nail on the head.

OK. This isn't creepy.

You want to follow me?

- You wanna pause it? - I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

# And things change #

I'm a pretty good translator.

Hold your horses, peckerwood.

# I wanna smoke some weed and roll me a J #

- Neil! Neil! - Come on, come on, come on!

Why don't you just kick our ass instead?

Fuck! How do we get there? We can't go to the airport. They're looking for us.

but the other night, I ended up at that Asian party...

- Jesus, Kumar. - Oh, I hate you so much!

in-room films or a magazine.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.

I wish you'd-a told me you was bringing guests home.

No. This is typical government bullshit, sir. I...

Well, wait till you see what they make you eat in here.

So this has nothing to do with my ethnicity?

# My stoney baby #

getting plowed by a bunch of European dudes.

Speaking of ex-girlfriends...

That's what I think of the 9th Amendment.

Whose side are you on? I thought I told you to stay in the cockpit!

- You all right? - Not really.

Right. Listen...

...going? - Come on.

when you know it could ruin my political career?

This is just a poem for my creative writing class.

# And I think to myself #

Look, I know, I'm sorry. I hate it when people disturb me here too.

- He's just an idiot. - This is just a bong.

- You just make yourselves at home. - Thank you.

- But I like it! - Yeah!

This is what I think of your disciplinary

Tell me you didn't eat that cockmeat sandwich.

Can't shake. I've just got... deer head all over me.

Count of three?

# All I want is smoke weed and praise God, yeah #

Don’t ask questions You don’t want the answer to, buddy

No, common mistake. Poon handler.

- Oh, God! - Oh, my God, dude!

Gentlemen, start your engines.

All right, let 'em in.

It must have been either al-Qaeda or North Korea who broke 'em up.

You act like I've never smuggled a fugitive across state lines before.

You must have woke him up. He was supposed to be asleep. I'm sorry.

Illegal immigrants arriving at Gitmo

# Only church I know is Snoop Dogg's studio #

They were both born and raised in New Jersey.

# Thank you, Lord # # Thank you, Lord #

Jesus, dude. Here, you really need a hit of this.

What's a cockmeat sandwich?

Run, run, run. Run, run.

- What about you? - Me? I've been in the spirit.

- Hi. - Hi. You look good.

- and open your mouths. - Please, Big Bob.

Why the hell is your ass so dirty? Don't you wipe?

There's no way I'm letting you see me in that light. Good luck with your calculus.

Fucking assholes.

When we get out of this I'm gonna fucking kick your fucking ass, man!

Remember that? Before you fucked it up? You remember that?

Good enough for me.

Yeah, I guess they are.

but I'm pleading the Fifth until I speak to my lawyer.

Hey, honey. What's up?

# I got you pussy-whooped #

Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!

Actually, it's Brooks Brothers.

Well, I hope you're ready for me, Tits...

No. We're not... here to complain about the noise.

# Your dick went straight to DVD #

Bang bang, Roldy.

But I'm pretty sure he said something about going on the offensive.

It's going to be a perfect day.

it's fucking disaster after fucking disaster.

- Put it away. - No, dude.

the first thing you have to do when you get to America...

- Amsterdam? - Yeah.

Guy crashed into a bunch of wine bottles.

# But since I met you, baby #

All right. Well, that makes you a fucking hypocriticizer too.

That's only the finest.

That's what Trump thinks of the constitution.

- Sounds like a plan. - Let's do it.

Dude, you took Neil's Mace?

Well, I figure we're gonna land somewhere around Miami, right?

I already told you that they took off runnin'!

What the nigger was that!!??