Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Yo, that's racist, man. That's racist.
You don't see me freaking out.
- Shit. Shit. - Fuck. Fuck.
Yeah, that's the one with that Jew, Ted Danson.
# What she don't know is #
Dude. Dude, this chick's giving me such a boner, it's awesome.
Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programming...
- Then I'm gonna do it. - Put it away. Put the frickin' bong away.
Longhorns coming through.
Thats right!! No way!
- What the fuck?! - Oh, my God.
- Why? - Because it's lame.
- Ever. - OK.
# People get held back by the voice inside 'em #
fucking... sometimes I wonder if he's just encouraging me...
Kumar.
# I see some pussy-ass niggas, so what the fuck you wanna do? #
Hello, Maria. My name is Kumar.
- Guess what. - What?
What is going on here?
So how does this work?
Swim!
No?
We're only a wipe away.
# Live another day # # Brothers and sisters, Sunday at 4:20 #
The professional way. We walk. Let's go.
Venus, come on.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, buddy.
That's what I think of the second Amendment.
How about you take off your clothes and make out with each other?
# I wake up praising God every day #
Let me help you.
Door, door.
You know, that actually might be our only hope.
Man, I've never used a sick day before.
# They say in heaven love comes first #
Yeah?
Are you sure you speak Korean, Jack?
- Hey, no, no, question number one... - It's kind of a long story. I...
# So screw it, strip down and be generic #
Now do you see why I hate Colton Graham?
- No, I haven't. - Yeah, well, it's fucking exhilarating.
And I can't promise you that I'm gonna mature overnight.
Ready the plane. These fuckers are goin' down.
She's adorable.
Go! Move, move, move!
Kumar, just do what the guy says.
Well, that's just downright disgustin'
That is exactly, exactly what it means.
Fuck, fuck!
Very nice, sir.
- Good to see ya. - Good to see you.
But what I can promise you is that...
You wanna give me shit now?
Yeah.
Why? I mean, with T-Bird gone...
- Hi. Hey. - Hey.
Because I do...
- Hey, let me read it. - No, no.
There's only one guy we know who lives down there.
HYPNOTIC
- Really? - Yeah.
Oh, boy.
I'm not stoppin' until you crack!
OK, well, we've got to find a way to get out of this.
Now tell us everything you know about their terrorist plot.
Born in 04
- OK, wait. - No...
What with all the wedding plans, I've just been a little stressed.
# Write out some raps, throw it in my lap #
These guys? No, see, they're with us. Yeah.
Turn around.
# Thank you, Jesus # # Thank you, Jesus #
- "A poem of love by Kumar Patel. " - I need this.
You try unplugging the AirPort base?
It's 'cause you had something... That's good, that's OK.
Yeah, dude!
Do we have the right to make a phone call?
He's gone.
Are you boys in some kind of trouble?
I've been thinking about you this whole time.
Think I'd miss a terrorist attack of this magnitude?
# If you're in doubt then you are missing out #
- But, Roldy, I just... - Kumar.
Thank you.
They thought you guys were terrorizers.
guess what?
and I'd be more than happy to call the ACLU or the government...
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting this beautiful ceremony.
God damn it.
I have a lost-love story of my own.
# Sunday morning, Bizarre have faith Blunt in my mouth, watching TJ drink #
Dude, that is a fucking long story.
# Ooh wee #
- Now, does this hurt when I touch it? - Yeah.
Suit yourself.
- This is not good. - No, Kumar, it is not good.
Dude.
...what's up with this party? - What do you mean?
- Yeah. - No.
even though I love havin' sex with some hot, random trim...
You brought weed on the fucking airplane?
You just blew my fuckin' mind.
- Do you think that'll be enough? - I don't know. Yes?
I'm gonna talk to her.
All right, hold on. First we gotta do something for my buddy here.
Anton is like totally gay.
And it's not like we got Gregory Hines out there.
Terrorist!
Of course, we're gonna have to get high first.
# A knock on his door, his soul is no more #
It's OK, man.
You know, in Amsterdam, where we were going!
What are you doing here? It's bad luck. The ceremony starts in a hour.
Bottomless Party
Just chill, OK? We'll be out of this situation.
I don't care. It tried to fucking bite me.
# I see some pussy... #
Get up. Get up!
It's not just gonna be about Kumar all the time.
OK. Follow me.
Is this ignorant?
You couldn't fucking wait?
What the fuck? What the fuck? What are you doing?
That's what I think of the Fifth Amendment.
- You are awesomer. - Sir, you are awesome.
Yeah, but if he was a real friend, he would know how to say, "I'm sorry. "
# Your dick look like Gary Coleman #
Raylene, meet Harold and Kumar.
You guys have got to stay for supper.
- When? - Next week.
I told you I wanted a Gucci one.
- Can I say... - Again. This is... I can't.
Yo. Yo.
- But... - No, Neil.
Let's do it.
You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American.
Get in here.
A bunch of dumb rednecks?
# Squad up #