Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You don't do that.

Wouldn't it be a trip if Alex Trebek bought a nude painting of me?

And when did you report it?

I'd like to suggest some minor surgery. Intracranial pressure monitor.

on that 7.4 magnitude earthquake... - Dunphy's on.

Here's the categories:

Get out. We're here, babe.

Did they get your name?

But I tell you, that first day in the hospital...

Now, see, these bugs... This Humphrey or this Royal Coachman...

Let me take Barbara away from you for one second.

Jesus, Ralph. That was three years ago.

We gotta pull her out.

Oh, I really want you to fuck me now.

♫ To hell with love ♫

But you know we're gonna do the right thing in their bed tonight, right?

She was from Bakersfield.

what you didn't do for two and a half hours.

The doctors and the nurses are there with him all the time.

Your lipstick was smeared when you came back. - How would you know? You were drunk!

And he punched the window of a car out...

What, butter? - Yeah. Could we have more butter, please?

Oh... Uh, d-did you get a good grade?

Go ahead. You wanna touch 'em?

Paul Grossman got me more than $1 million.

Hey, sweetie. - Hey, Case.

And now I'm not even supposed to say the word crack in front of them.

This is completely destroyed.

Guess she was murdered.

These are the lionfish, and these are the goldfish.

Hey. - Almost ready.

Little Songs, Celebrities, Gourmet Cooking, Family Life...

My panties are getting a little wet.

You okay? - Fine.

Did you sign the guest book? - No. No, not yet.

Here you are. - Thank you.

How many clowns can you fit in this car, Don?

Every animal has their rightful owner.

Betty, the key doesn't work! Yeah!

Sits down. He's acting like nothing's happened.

♫ And the next day the world owns you ♫

♫ 'Cause I don't know you ♫

Kanes. - Who are the Kanes?

In part because I've executed them on large panels of wood...

Casey. - Casey. Yeah.

Yeah, I just didn't want to walk into the boy's room alone, you know.

This isn't dressed up. - I'm not changing.

♫ I thought that I would die ♫

Hey, can you hear me?

All right. - You have a nice afternoon.

She was a lady. She was nice.

Oh, man. I... I know.

Why don't you come with me...

Listen, we'll keep a close eye on him. Okay?

That's what I think.

Why don't you say something to him?

It's not really fair that I should win all the time, is it?

That was really a hard time for him to play...

I have work to do. I don't wanna talk to you.

You know, I've never even seen him. You know, uh, Kevin... It's, uh...

Suzy! Daddy, you found Suzy!

St. Teresa, that extraordinary woman who lived 373 years ago...

He fucked me right there in the car.

And, um, that's it. - All right.

you know, so that she won't get scared when she comes out of the shower...

Everything could have changed. Our whole lives could have changed.

I started sweating. I tell you, my knees are shaking. I don't know what the hell to do.

Just check up on the fish...

I'm sorry I had to do that, but you just got out of line.

Well, you know. - Oh.

Come on, sweetie. Let's watch Daddy on TV.

Mr. Finnigan? Excuse me, Mr. Finnigan.

♫ You simply somehow gotta carry on ♫

I say fish now.

That's what I'm saying, everything but clothes.

We can't get to the phone right now,

Their sick, dirty pornography.

As soon as he crossed my path, boom.

I tied her to the bank.

How could you possibly do that?

I don't know. This is as much of a surprise to me as it is to anybody.

Oh, yeah? Well, what's she do in Tahoe? - What?

Howard's dad? - Yeah. Yeah. Howard's dad.

I love all those things about you.

We didn't have anything to do with it.

No kidding. - Somebody shot him on the freeway.

It's highly dangerous. It bit an infant. - A police officer's taking the dog.

Are you competing? - Competing with who?

Ask for margarine.

So, where we going, anyway, guys? - About an hour outside of Bakersfield.

And besides... Gene, you were always with your family on the weekend.

No, I didn't. - You said, Let's set a date.

We're already gonna get some beer.

Yeah? What's the matter? - He's taking my dog.

It's your clock, Stormy. You take it and keep it wound.

♫ And they know me in Paris ♫

♫ It's all I can do ♫

My son is dead.

Oh, you're such a bullshit artist.

Yes, I did. She's my half sister. - Half sister?

I pay for it. - Take what you think is yours...

I'm gonna go down and see if I can find her, okay?

Plus, he won't do oral.

How long are you gonna do that? Do you know what time it is?

Yeah, but tell me it wasn't worth it. I mean, even four hours of walking is worth this.

Oh, no, I can't. I'm going away for the weekend.

Are you guys actresses or models?

♫ When it comes to push or shove ♫

God, I hate that fish smell.

If I'd been going faster, I would've killed him.

Close the gate when you go! I don't want Suzy to get out!

Yes, that's a baseball bat. I don't draw very well.

I wanna see your mom and dad. I wanna make sure you're okay.

Nothing. - Sherri, where are my keys?

Of course it's a trap! - Gene?

Let's hear more about Earl.

It was only that one time. I tr... Oh, I tried to explain to your mother...

He's aspirated, but we're not too concerned about that.

Um, tempered by the ephemeral use of color.

Now, you may wonder where I get rope in prison.

You left her in the water?

I don't know. Nobody knows who did it.

I'll call somebody. Get out of my store.

He said we'll have to do it some other time.

I got Chad tonight, you know. Wanna join us?

And... He was turnin' blue.

Are you cheating, Ralph? - No, Marian. You cheat, remember?

See, on the list it says it's good for the carpet.

we slipped Mickeys on these four girls.

he didn't come in me. - Okay.

If the positions were reversed, my sister would be doing the same thing.

Just to see what kind of cockamamy lie he's gonna come up with next.

- Well, she sells a lot more than you think.

They've been good to us. Don't smoke, Bill.

♫ It's all I can do ♫

I'm gonna introduce your dick to my tonsils.

Already? That was fast.

Oh, Andy, you're a long ways away.

No, we should call somebody. I think we should call the police.

Kids are going nuts! Did you call the pound?

What's the menu like, babe?

We'll get a puppy this time. How's that? - I don't want another dog. I want Suzy!

Do you? - I used to, before we got married.

Watch your brother. Okay? Watch your brother.

- He's gonna be all right. No, I'm comin'.

Pull her out? What are you, crazy?

just floatin' there.

Maybe I'll get a job in Amsterdam.

♫ For that senator ♫

Now, I am going to move that egg from this glass...

6048364. 6048364.

There is one fatality that has been confirmed, now.

Here you go. Oh, hey, is my tuna melt workin'?

Very unfortunate, what happened.

Are you kidding me?

Casey's gonna be all right. - I'm not staying here.

Huh? - No smoking.

Thank you. Have you got the keys?

People are looking. You wanna order something?

and I'm gonna make you stick it up that dick of yours.

Honey! Honey, you all right?

We're praying. - Yeah.

The baker, Mr. Bitkower.