- Hello, Joyce? - Mom? I'm on the phone.

Oh! Well, Chris, what are you doing over at Joyce's?

No, Mom. I'm in the living room, 10 feet away from you

- and I'm on the phone. - Oh.

while I have you on the phone, what would you like for dinner?

We-we have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot roast.

Mom. Please.

¶ Be yourself, be yourself. ¶

My snow globe collection.

- How's the love life? - Lame.

- Another jerk? - I'm kidding...

No.

I've really just been dating, you know?

Just trying to look for my soulmate.

- What, you... you know these kids? - Yeah, I substitute teach

- What was that?! - You're pathetic!

I'm sorry, okay?

It's just these damn rental skates.

It's fine. Just don't cuss in front of the children.

- What, are you kidding me? - Fight!