I hate feeling like this.

So pathetic.

Do people like you ever feel this way?

I figure you don't.

You seem so perfect all the time.

Lord must've been generous to you.

He never answers any of my prayers.

I don't know why. What did I do?

What is wrong with me?

Please, just tell me so maybe I can get better.

I don't want to end up like Mama.

I want to be dancing up on the screen

like the pretty gals in the pictures.

I want what they have so badly,

to be perfect,

to be loved from as many people as possible

to make up for all my time spent suffering.

Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night

and the fear washes over me, 'cause what if this is it?

What if this is right where I belong?