Yes, a hat, a lion taming hat.

A hat with lion tamer on it.

I got it at harrods.

And it lights up, saying lion tamer

In great, big neon letters

So you can tame them after dark when they're less stroppy.

I see, I see.

And you can claim reasonable wear and tear--

Switch it off during the daytime--

As allowable professional expenses...

Yes, yes, yes

I do follow the strategy, but you see, the snag is

If I now call mr. chipperfield and say to him

look here, I've got

a 45-year-old chartered accountant with me

Who wants to become a lion tamer

His first question is not going to be

does he have his own hat?

He's going to ask

What sort of experience you've had with lions.