Have you brought me a pretty toy?

This is a Calisto Pulse. It can disarm micro-explosives from up to 20 feet.

What kind of micro-explosives?

The kind I just put in your wine.

- Vavoom! - Va-what?

I can't believe I've never thought of this before, it's genius.

Right!

Landed, come on.

- Where are we? - Planet One.

The oldest planet in the universe. There's a cliff of pure diamond

and, according to legend, on the cliff there's writing.

Letters 50 feet high, a message from the dawn of time,

and no-one knows what it says, cos no-one's ever translated it.

- What happens today? - Us. The TARDIS can translate anything.

and read the very first words in recorded history.

Vavoom!

Right place?

Just followed the co-ordinates on the cliff face.

Earth. Britain. 1 .02am.

No, pm.