- Passenger count. - Unchanged.

- Regenerative food buffet. - Unchanged.

- Jacuzzi pH balance. - Unchanged.

- Atmospheric conditions. - Unchanged.

- AUTO: Captain. - Laundry service volume.

- Unchanged. - Okay, Auto.

- Sir, the annual reconnaissance... - 12:30!

Auto, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements?

Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship.

Well, good morning, everybody,

and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom.

As always, the weather is a balmy

Oh, I see the ship's log is showing that today is our 700th anniversary

of our five-year cruise.

Well, I'm sure our forefathers would be proud to know that 700 years later

we'd be doing the exact same thing they were doing.

Fore!

So, be sure next mealtime to ask for your "free

" septuacentennial cupcake in a cup."

Wow, look at that!