is just going to blow over in like a week or two.

Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life.

She lives, like, two hours away, and she doesn't have a cell phone.

My friend is kind of into these two girls that he works with.

So, does anyone wanna know where I've been for the last two hours?

Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches.

I know this Russian website where you can download songs for two cents apiece.

Now you say one of two things One, "You're just having a bad dream."

Try to spark up an ongoing joke and then, in a month or two,

Yes. They're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.

Michael has so many pictures of his kids, he had to get two phones

I just think that there are two specific kinds of people in the world.

but isn't it supposed to last longer than two years, if it isn't effective?

I had no idea, when I got into that car to go to New York,

that I was going to be quitting.

"Should've peed before I left."

Okay, so, get up to the building.

Revolving door, broken.

(KEVIN EXCLAIMS)

So I have to take the normal door.