Mr. Grady, could we have this certificate made out to Granny instead of me?

I think one of the fraternities is trying to pull a prank on me.

Uh, Mr. Drysdale, if we can't have this one made over to Granny, could we get her one of her own?

They offered to make me one.

What's this get-up supposed to be?

You couldn't pay me to stay here.

Well, uh, I don't think it's nothing to get excited about.

According to this, he's a doctor and you ain't.

He wants me to do his doctoring for him.

Maybe you'd like to tell me what heals you.

Mr. Dean, I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you back this certificate.

Well, me and him went over to Paul's movie studio.

I don't want to be within 10 miles of this place.

You're all invited back next week to this locality to have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality.

Now, dear, if we should see Mr. Clampett, you know what to do.

Hey, Granny, how about buying me one to be a brain surgeon?

We got all the stuff to make the Paul into a real doctor's office.

Now remember, we drew straws, and I get to audition my bird imitations first.

Dean Emerson, on behalf of Mr. Clampett, I am pleased to present this check to my old alma mater.

We all want to hear the inspiring story of how Mr. Clampett made his fortune.